Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I had to say this, but I think Malaysian government has blocked Megaupload!

That means I can't access it anymore and also mean that I cannot download my korean dramas from it anymore! Aigoooo...

I even paid for the premium account and it is my first time pay for a downloading account!
And my drama "Can You Hear My Heart" is only half way downloaded!
10 episodes more...
Aigoo aigoo.....

I wish to go some other country now, just to access megaupload, download as much as I can, and then come back to beloved Malaysia.

How I wish.....
Let's go JB!
Then cross over to Singapore! :D

*suddenly it sounded logic, since I'm on holidays now... Heh!*

-Because life is a test-


-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Noticed it? I put up a new blog background, and changed the fonts. I may get bored with this layout after some time, but for now just let it be.

Yesterday I went to do the letter of good conduct, for Manchester Univ required me to post one copy to them. It's funny to think that my attitude in the whole life has been summarised into one simple letter; the letter of good conduct.

Anyway, something unimaginable happened late last night.
I received a shocking call from a shocking someone, talking about some shocking topics.
But of course, I would not want to disclose it here. In fact, I'll never do that.
Only some people will know about it :)

Today, I planned to do my health status declaration; another requirement by MU.
And I've just finished one episode of "Can You Hear My Heart".
It's been a really long time since I watched Kim Jae Won on screen; but this time he looks extra-too-fair la, what more for a man.
Haiz..

Ok bye.
Want to prepare lunch; my mum made me agree to house-managing crash course which includes cooking!

-Because life is a test-


-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Assalammualaikum. :)

I'm back from the so-called 5 day brainwash program.
From which aspect has my brain been washed? What's new and what's left?

What if I suddenly say, I am an avid supporter of the government now, for they do everything with the people's best interests in their minds?

HAHAHAHAHA.....

I wouldn't say that.

But I would certainly say that I know more about Malaysian constitution now, having it being shoved into our minds almost every hour. Perkara 3, perkara 152, 153, 14, 15, 16.
The Constitution study was done like a Quranic study. Refer to this "perkara" and that "perkara".

And now, I feel like owning a copy of the constitution :)

From this course, I understand that the constitution is a very important guideline, to ensure that our country can function smoothly.
But it is also pertinent to remember that the constitution is man-made, and unlike the Quran, is subjected to errors and can be corrected.

So yes, from now on before I start condemning anything I would refer to the constitution first.

What's Good About BTN

Even if I do not fully agree with the agenda of BTN, there is one good thing I can definitely say about the BTN in Kem Bina Negara Meru, Kelang.
And I am sure more than 90% of the participants will also agree to this.

The trainers rock!
The trainers are ex-commando in Malaysian army, and they are super nice to us.
All of them are old people, some can be considered atok pun.
But they are cute, because they are funny and caring.
They called us chencalok, they called one of us "Panjang", they called us sembelit and all sorts of funny names, but in a very non-offensive way.

I did repelling for the first time in my life, climbing down a 40 feet wall, facing the sky. It's a not-to-be forgotten experience and fear =]

And the new friends, are cool.
I'll just write their names here, even though they won't read it.
But this is just to remind me of them, when I read this post again, few yrs from now. =)

Kumpulan 3
Facilitator:
1) En Abd Halim Mohd Shah
2) En Saat bin (Ahmad?)

Ahli:
1) Akmar
2) Nabilah Zakaria (IMU)
3) Amanda Liew (IMU)
4) Noemi bt Ridzuan (KDU College - Economy to Washington Univ, US)
5) Siti Naqiah (KDU College - Economy to Washington Univ, US)
6) William Lai (KDU College - cant rmember course - Virgina Univ, US)
7) Mohd Afif Syakir (KDU College - Petroleum Engineering to Univ of Tulsa, US)
8) Intan (KDU College - forgot the course and univ)
9) Hana Atikah (Taylor's College - Accountings - Univ of Tulsa)
10) Muhd Zulfahdli (Cempaka International School - Chemistry and Molecular Physics to Nottingham Univ, UK)
11) Bruce Sui (Cempaka International School - Biotechnology - frgot the univ)

So yea, if ever I meet them again, I hope I'll remember them.
=p

p/s: A lot of things to write, but I do not want to make this post too long, ppl will get bored.

-Because life is a test-



-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Monday, June 13, 2011

Assalammualaikum :)

I hvnt been writing for quite a long time, and it was not because I had nothing to write about, it was because I had no time to write it out.
Since the last day of my exam and the matching result release date, I have been doing all sorts of activities, not sitting quietly at home. And it showed when I finished my full petrol tank in less than a week! :S

Anyway, I have just finished packing for BTN (Biro Tatanegara); a program we JPA sponsored students have to go for a pre-departure program.

I heard a lot about this program, some say it is a "brain-washing" program; to indoctrinate us young students before going abroad.
Some say it is a very good program, instilling patriotism among us.
Some say it is boring.

But they all said one same thing; this program teaches us History, which I believe is of Malaysia.
And I can't wait to learn it.

You see, History itself is a very good indoctrinating material.
Because it can be looked at from a lot of perspectives; and from there, a stand is built.
So I really want to know from which perspective will this program make us look from.

And I will just clear my mind, forget whatever presumptions I had about this program, and see it the way I see it, without any influence from other people's view.

And some seniors said they will take our handphones, leaving us with only public phones to survive on. But some say they did not. I guess it really depend on which centre are we sent to.
So I might not be reachable for the next 5 days!

InsyaAllah, I will write what did the program teach us there :)

-Because life is a test-


-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Friday, June 3, 2011

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah! Thank God!

And no no no! PMS is not pre-menstrual syndrome.
In my context (and all IMU students'), it means Partner Medical School.
Basically, PMS are the med schools IMU partnered with, and so are where we can continue our twinning program at, just like a credit transfer thing.

Since I am a JPA sponsored student, JPA put me in the Ireland group.
I was disappointed at firs, because it had always been my dream to study in Manchester Univ, even since A Levels. I even wrote about it, one year ago!

Of course, being put in the Ireland group was an emotional torture for me.
I started talking to Ain, one of my best friends, who are now studying in Ireland, and she was delighted I was sent to Ireland. For that means I'll be nearer to her, and Galway Univ is definitely a good university; she'll want to go there too if were given the choice.

So I brightened up.
Then I received a lot of positive feedbacks too from people around me, saying Galway is a nice place.
The more I shone.

But I still have that tiny little hope, that I will get Manchester.
In the matching ranking form, I ranked Manchester as my first UK university, hoping Galway do not want me as much as Manchester wants me.

Then, another fear sets in.
What if, I get Australia instead?
My God.. I don't want!
Not because it is less qualified but, I do not want to spend 6 months of waiting.
Australia starts in Feb, UK starts in Aug while I'll be graduating from IMU in June (which is today!!).

The Release of Matching Result

The result will be released at 4pm, and my mother was supposed to reach IMU with aunts at 3.45pm, so that I can bring them tour around IMU before collecting my result.

But they arrived late. T___T
I was already holding the envelope and dared not open it, I wanted to share the news; good or bad with my mother first. Today is her birthday.
So when she came, I was practically trembling, because I have been holding the envelope for too long, and too many people have asked me where was I matched to and I saw ppl crying and screaming; all of that added up to my nervousness and I almost fainted because I just cant contain the emotions anymore.

And when she opened it, I cant think of anything.
Then she announced,

University of Manchester, UK!!!!


My heart stopped beating for a split second, and before I knew it, I was already in my aunt's arm, unable to even speak.

And I cried.
Tears of happiness rushed down my cheek, and I truly thanked God for this superb opportunity, showing me how much He loves me, and a test for me, so that I will never forget Him.

So yea, skip all the drama, I went to find Hui Fong and Ah Kiew in the hall while my family waited outside.
As soon as I announced I got Manchester, Ah Kiew leapt at me and screamed happily, proudly telling everyone that I am going Manchester, with her!

*And now, I am grinning from ear to ear*

How was exam?
It was fine :)
The questions that caught me off guard was the demonstration of proper hand washing technique, intra muscular injection and a case whereby the woman was unable to conceive after trying for 4 years. T_____________T

The result of this exam will be released next Friday.
IF and ONLY IF I pass this exam, will I be able to continue my MBBS in Manchester.
Let's pray hard.
:)

Amin.

-Because life is a test-



-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

*Warning: this post will be mostly my sok sek sok sek, and it's quite long*

Did you see that horrified look on me?
U didn’t?
Come, I’ll show it again.



That was the expression I was wearing on my face as I walked out of my last physical examination station; the hypothyroid case.

Before I start babbling about how poor was my performance in that station, and how not-so-professional I was in other stations, let me just briefly explain how this clinical exam is carried out.

It is called Objective Structured Clinical Examination; OSCE

I talked about my first experience with OSCE last year, during my end of semester 3 exam.

Basically, we will be given 40 secs to read the instructions outside the room and when the buzzer rings, we have to go in and examine the patient, according to the case given, the one we read outside the room.

And in the room, there will be one simulated patient (a patient who’s not sick but is pretending to be and is either ready to cost us our marks at any time we went wrong or accidentally scratched his skin, or a helpful one who will give us subtle tips throughout the exam) and a doctor, who will be holding a score sheet and ready to mark us. We are given 5 minutes to perform the examination on the patient.

There were 4 physical examination (PE) stations, 2 history takings and 2 self-standing stations. My first PE was considerably okay. It was a pleural effusion case, and I am quite confident in a respiratory case, having examined before during semester 3. And the examiner was a Dr from IMU Clinical School. He did not let me complete the whole procedure; he stopped me when he saw I was doing it fine and asked me to proceed to the next step. We have to percuss the patient’s back for 3 levels but he stopped me when I’ve done two. I assumed it’s because he doesn’t want me to waste my 5 minutes doing something that I know how to do.

I finished earlier than the allocated 5 mins and the doctor did not look annoyed so I was quite happy as I walk out the room *grin*

My next station was a Nervous System station; patient had right-sided hemiplegia, upper motor neurone lesion and we're instructed to inspect the motor function of the facial nerve. Having practised quite a few times with Hui Fong and Ah Kiew, I can do it quite well (I think) but I am pretty sure I lost the 1 mark for confidence. I didn't appear confidence, at all. I was slurry and too fast when I answered the questions given, that Dr Sow had to ask me to repeat.

Anyway, the first 2 stations were okay.
Then comes the 3rd station.
Dr NKM's hip examination.

All this while we were taught to measure patient's legs to determine if he has congenital deformity or any other diseases that deforms his legs. And all this while, the patient's legs are straightened.

Suddenly today, the patient's right leg were injured, that he can't straighten it.
I did not know how to measure a bent leg!
I was almost "pleading" the patient to straighten his poor leg so that I can measure it.
But to no avail.

And usually, while palpating for any bony structures, I have to say that I can't really feel most of what I said I feel. Greater trochanter of the femur for example, I do not know which one exactly is the greater trochanter so all this while I've been "pretending" to feel it.

BUT my examiner today; Dr NKM is an anatomist.
Most other doctors will be sitting at the corner of the room, to mark us.
But he didn't. He'll really look at what we're touching,
And him being a totally superb anatomist, there is absolutely NO WAY we can "pretend" to be able touch the structures because he knows exactly where it is.
*sigh*
But he was quite friendly so I still walked out of the room smiling.

The Killer, Killing and Killed Station

There was an ECG, and we're supposed to interpret it and examine the patient ACCORDING to the findings on the ECG.

And I have no idea what the ECG was showing.
And matters got worse when the doctor was Dr JK; a doctor known for her strictness.
I hentam-ed and said it was an ST-elevation and it could be a heart attack. She simply nodded and asked me to proceed.

As I asked for the patient's permission to inspect his chest, he was surprised and said, "Chest?"
That alarmed me. Could it be NOT chest?
And when I asked him to remove his shirt, he said he's cold and refused to remove it.
THEN ONLY I realise the existence of a water bottle next to him.
So then only I know it was a THYROID case.

So after performing the neck inspection and examination, I kept quiet and stood still for I did not know what to do next. *There goes my confidence mark*

So Dr JK said, "If you do not know what to do, I can tell you what you should do next"
Me: "Oh yes, pls"
Dr JK: "Do the biceps jerk"

So I did. Then I reported the findings that we might get in a hyper or hypothyroid case, since they will be different. Then suddenly she raised her voice, "And what case is this actually?!"
I was dumbstrucked.
Then only I re-read the instruction on the table, and noticed the first sentence,
"This patient is suspected to have hypothyroidism"
*daanngg!*

I so wanted to scream at the tops of my lungs at that moment.
"I'm sorry! I did not notice that sentence before! I missed it!"

Dr JK: "Then that's too bad"

I felt like crying.
Then it was that moment of silence and awkwardness, the 5 minutes is not over yet, and Dr JK looked very annoyed.
Then I noticed the patient was playing with his hands, it was either my imagination or that was a subtle sign he was giving me, saying that I shd be examining his hands too.

So I asked to examine the hands and while I was doing it, the buzzer rang.
And I said thank you and walked out.

That was all I need to dampen my spirit for the rest of the day.
Thank God that was my last PE station, at least it did not affect my emotions for the other stations.

IF ONLY I read the sentence, I would done a lot better.
Hypothyroid case is not that difficult.

Ok. That's all la.
Lazy to write some more.
Goodnight.

p/s: Tomorrow the result of my PMS matching will be outttt! In other words, I will know which country will I be going to complete my MBBS, tomorrow.

-Because life is a test-


-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
June 01, 2011 0 Comments
*Warning: this post will be mostly my sok sek sok sek, and it's quite long*

Did you see that horrified look on me?
U didn’t?
Come, I’ll show it again.


That was the expression I was wearing on my face as I walked out of my last physical examination station; the hypothyroid case.

Before I start babbling about how poor was my performance in that station, and how not-so-professional I was in other stations, let me just briefly explain how this clinical exam is carried out.

It is called Objective Structured Clinical Examination; OSCE

I talked about my first experience with OSCE last year, during my end of semester 3 exam.

Basically, we will be given 40 secs to read the instructions outside the room and when the buzzer rings, we have to go in and examine the patient, according to the case given, the one we read outside the room.

And in the room, there will be one simulated patient (a patient who’s not sick but is pretending to be and is either ready to cost us our marks at any time we went wrong or accidentally scratched his skin, or a helpful one who will give us subtle tips throughout the exam) and a doctor, who will be holding a score sheet and ready to mark us. We are given 5 minutes to perform the examination on the patient.

There were 4 physical examination (PE) stations, 2 history takings and 2 self-standing stations. My first PE was considerably okay. It was a pleural effusion case, and I am quite confident in a respiratory case, having examined before during semester 3. And the examiner was a Dr from IMU Clinical School. He did not let me complete the whole procedure; he stopped me when he saw I was doing it fine and asked me to proceed to the next step. We have to percuss the patient’s back for 3 levels but he stopped me when I’ve done two. I assumed it’s because he doesn’t want me to waste my 5 minutes doing something that I know how to do.

I finished earlier than the allocated 5 mins and the doctor did not look annoyed so I was quite happy as I walk out the room *grin*

My next station was a Nervous System station; patient had right-sided hemiplegia, upper motor neurone lesion and we're instructed to inspect the motor function of the facial nerve. Having practised quite a few times with Hui Fong and Ah Kiew, I can do it quite well (I think) but I am pretty sure I lost the 1 mark for confidence. I didn't appear confidence, at all. I was slurry and too fast when I answered the questions given, that Dr Sow had to ask me to repeat.

Anyway, the first 2 stations were okay.
Then comes the 3rd station.
Dr NKM's hip examination.

All this while we were taught to measure patient's legs to determine if he has congenital deformity or any other diseases that deforms his legs. And all this while, the patient's legs are straightened.

Suddenly today, the patient's right leg were injured, that he can't straighten it.
I did not know how to measure a bent leg!
I was almost "pleading" the patient to straighten his poor leg so that I can measure it.
But to no avail.

And usually, while palpating for any bony structures, I have to say that I can't really feel most of what I said I feel. Greater trochanter of the femur for example, I do not know which one exactly is the greater trochanter so all this while I've been "pretending" to feel it.

And my examiner today; Dr NKM is an anatomist.
All other doctors will be sitting at the corner of the room, to mark us.
But he doesn't. He'll really look at what we're touching,
And he's an anatomist, a superb one so there is absolutely NO WAY we can "pretend" to touch the structures because he knows exactly where it is.
*sigh*
But he was quite friendly so I still walked out of the room smiling.

The Killer, Killing and Killed Station

There was an ECG, and we're supposed to interpret it and examine the patient ACCORDING to the findings on the ECG.

And I have no idea what the ECG was showing.
And matters got worse when the doctor was Dr JK; a known doctor for her strictness.
I hentam-ed and said it was an ST-elevation and it could be a heart attack. She simply nodded and asked me to proceed.

As I asked for the patient's permission to inspect his chest, he was surprised and said, "Chest?"
That alarmed me. Could it be NOT chest?
And when I asked him to remove his shirt, he said he's cold and refused to remove it.
THEN ONLY I realised the existence of a water bottle next to him.
So then only I know it was a THYROID case.

So after performing the neck inspection and examination, I kept quiet and stood still for I did not know what to do next. *There goes my confidence mark*

So Dr JK said, "If you do not know what to do, I can tell you what you should do next"
Me: "Oh yes, pls"
Dr JK: "Do the biceps jerk"

So I did. Then I reported the findings that we might get in a hyper or hypothyroid case, since they will be different. Then suddenly she raised her voice, "And what case is this actually?!"
I was dumbstrucked.
Then only I re-read the instruction on the table, and noticed the first sentence,
"This patient is suspected to have hypothyroidism"

I so want to scream at the tops of my lungs at that moment.
"I'm sorry! I did not notice that sentence before! I missed it!"

Dr JK: "Then that's too bad"


-Because life is a test- -AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
*Warning: this post will be mostly my sok sek sok sek, and it's quite long*

Did you see that horrified look on me?
U didn’t?
Come, I’ll show it again.



That was the expression I was wearing on my face as I walked out of my last physical examination station; the hypothyroid case.

Before I start babbling about how poor was my performance in that station, and how not-so-professional I was in other stations, let me just briefly explain how this clinical exam is carried out.

It is called Objective Structured Clinical Examination; OSCE

I talked about my first experience with OSCE last year, during my end of semester 3 exam.

Basically, we will be given 40 secs to read the instructions outside the room and when the buzzer rings, we have to go in and examine the patient, according to the case given, the one we read outside the room.

And in the room, there will be one simulated patient (a patient who’s not sick but is pretending to be and is either ready to cost us our marks at any time we went wrong or accidentally scratched his skin, or a helpful one who will give us subtle tips throughout the exam) and a doctor, who will be holding a score sheet and ready to mark us. We are given 5 minutes to perform the examination on the patient.

There were 4 physical examination (PE) stations, 2 history takings and 2 self-standing stations. My first PE was considerably okay. It was a pleural effusion case, and I am quite confident in a respiratory case, having examined before during semester 3. And the examiner was a Dr from IMU Clinical School. He did not let me complete the whole procedure; he stopped me when he saw I was doing it fine and asked me to proceed to the next step. We have to percuss the patient’s back for 3 levels but he stopped me when I’ve done two. I assumed it’s because he doesn’t want me to waste my 5 minutes doing something that I know how to do.

I finished earlier than the allocated 5 mins and the doctor did not look annoyed so I was quite happy as I walk out the room *grin*

My next station was a Nervous System station; patient had right-sided hemiplegia, upper motor neurone lesion and we're instructed to inspect the motor function of the facial nerve. Having practised quite a few times with Hui Fong and Ah Kiew, I can do it quite well (I think) but I am pretty sure I lost the 1 mark for confidence. I didn't appear confidence, at all. I was slurry and too fast when I answered the questions given, that Dr Sow had to ask me to repeat.

Anyway, the first 2 stations were okay.
Then comes the 3rd station.
Dr NKM's hip examination.

All this while we were taught to measure patient's legs to determine if he has congenital deformity or any other diseases that deforms his legs. And all this while, the patient's legs are straightened.

Suddenly today, the patient's right leg were injured, that he can't straighten it.
I did not know how to measure a bent leg!
I was almost "pleading" the patient to straighten his poor leg so that I can measure it.
But to no avail.

And usually, while palpating for any bony structures, I have to say that I can't really feel most of what I said I feel. Greater trochanter of the femur for example, I do not know which one exactly is the greater trochanter so all this while I've been "pretending" to feel it.

And my examiner today; Dr NKM is an anatomist.
All other doctors will be sitting at the corner of the room, to mark us.
But he doesn't. He'll really look at what we're touching,
And he's an anatomist, a superb one so there is absolutely NO WAY we can "pretend" to touch the structures because he knows exactly where it is.
*sigh*
But he was quite friendly so I still walked out of the room smiling.

The Killer, Killing and Killed Station

There was an ECG, and we're supposed to interpret it and examine the patient ACCORDING to the findings on the ECG.

And I have no idea what the ECG was showing.
And matters got worse when the doctor was Dr JK; a known doctor for her strictness.
I hentam-ed and said it was an ST-elevation and it could be a heart attack. She simply nodded and asked me to proceed.

As I asked for the patient's permission to inspect his chest, he was surprised and said, "Chest?"
That alarmed me. Could it be NOT chest?
And when I asked him to remove his shirt, he said he's cold and refused to remove it.
THEN ONLY I realised the existence of a water bottle next to him.
So then only I know it was a THYROID case.

So after performing the neck inspection and examination, I kept quiet and stood still for I did not know what to do next. *There goes my confidence mark*

So Dr JK said, "If you do not know what to do, I can tell you what you should do next"
Me: "Oh yes, pls"
Dr JK: "Do the biceps jerk"

So I did. Then I reported the findings that we might get in a hyper or hypothyroid case, since they will be different. Then suddenly she raised her voice, "And what case is this actually?!"
I was dumbstrucked.
Then only I re-read the instruction on the table, and noticed the first sentence,
"This patient is suspected to have hypothyroidism"

I so want to scream at the tops of my lungs at that moment.



-Because life is a test- -AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com