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Saturday, November 22, 2014

Cuti2 Malaysia dh Nak Habis

Assalammualaikum!

Ok, I officially have about 2 more weeks only to be called an unemployed medical graduate.
Dh sedia ke nk bekerja sebagai seorang doktor, Akmar oi?
Jawapan: Ntah la. Macam belum je.
*gasp*

Pagi tadi one of my friends posted this status in her FB page:

Semalam. Hari yg dhsyat.
tapi Allah tu xpernah berhenti memujuk..
Admission yg sgt banyak..
Kena marah lg dgn keluarga patient..dlm keadaan dri sndri tgh stress takut kena marah dgn mo n specialist sbb byk keje xsiap..beban perasaan yg bertambah2.
****

dilute drug. Tgn kena kaca. Nk cepat punya pasal. Darah xberhenti2. Tiba2 ada orang hulur handiplast.
'Nah doktor.'
toleh belakang.
'Ya Allah. Nurse..awk perasan ke?terharu la sy cmni'
Siap lari tolong amek. Siap tolong balutkan..
*tapi lepas tu keja pn jd lmbat. Nk amek darah susah. Nk tulis susah. Baru sedar nikmat ibu jari. Nmpk remeh tp sgt bermakna..
****

Tgh rounds..
Serabut dgn byk benda..

Finally broken down into tears in front of patients, patients' relatives and nurses. Xpernah ngis cmni sepanjang 3minggu keje.walaupun setiap hari 6 smpi 11..digagahkn jugak. Tp akhirnya kalah jugak dgn air mata sndri.huhu

Bila orang panggil..
'doktor..doktor.. ubat ni macam mana?'
'Doktor..doktor.. patient ni mcm mana?'

Semua x boleh nak dijawab sebab tgh nangis dgn dahsyatnya sampai xboleh bfikir.
malu plak bila pk. Adeh..

Round blom hbis.Ingt nk skip round.malu nk ngadap mo n specialist dgn mata merah..tp mo panggil jugak. Nyorok blkg mo yg tggi sbb xnk org nmpk.
Tbe2..
Mo: hey r u ok?
Me: doktor jgn tny. Nnt sy ngis lg *sambil berusaha lap air mata yg xnyempat2 nk kluar time2 cmni *

Mo tarik tgn. Kluar dr group perbincangan

mo: u all gi sana dlu. Nanti u pun nangis skali.
Me: *dlm hati* sempat lg main2 die ni
Mo: r u ok? I tau working environment lain dari masa study. Bla bla bla.. *xingt dh die ckp apa sbb sibuk sgt nk lap air mata.haha
Me: sorry doktor. Doktor mesti tension kan dapat 1st poster.
Mo: no la.its ok.do u want me to teach u or not?

*terkejut. Susah sgt nk jumpa doktor bahagian surgery yg blh bsabar mcm ni skali. Lagi terharu bila doktor pura2 sruh kt tulis dlm patient folder, supaya xpyah ikut round. semata2 supaya die blh talk heart-to-heart dgn diri yg ntah pape ni

Habis je round mlm tu,msg doktor..

Me: Thank you so much for just now. It may look simple to u but it really helps. Im so sorry for what happened. Stress dengan diri sendiri. Having u all as my bosses is a bless but I still mess up things. I'll try my best to adapt and learn
Mo: No problem . Take it easy. All of us have gone through the same thing. Just relax and be strong

balik mlm tu terus tido xnyempat2.kepenatan.
Tido dgn senyuman.

Hari yg dhsyat tp Allah still bg hadiah dgn cara yg lain.

P/s: hari ni bjaya siapkn semua keje walaupun tggal 2 org 1st poster dlm ward.waaaa cm xcaye!

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal. Hanya Allah tau yg terbaik ♥

Seram tak baca?
Saya seram... seram sangat.

I've heard the story of HO (read: House Officer) crying countless times.
But it has never scared me as much as this one from my friend.
Perhaps because as this status comes from a friend, it felt nearer to me?

Kena marah ngn keluarga patients.
Takutnye bnda tu berlaku. Klo tgh stress, will I fight them back?
But if I fight, I will cry in the middle of the fight.
Selalu mcm tu. Emo nk marah org, diri sndiri nangis smbil marah2 org.
Malu la klo that happens.

Habis tu, nk snyap je bila kena marah ngn family patients?
My mum pun pernah marah doktor sbb dia kna tggu lama.
Even my nenek.
Tp doktor bkn nye tgh minum kopi goyang kaki kt ward/clinic tu.
And kita pun tahu patients tggu nk berjanggut kt waiting room tu.
Masing2 tgh stress, nk ledak kt sape?

Sape nk jadi air, sape nk jadi api?
Sbb api hnya blh lawan ngn air.

Setiap hari keje 6 to 11
6am to 11pm.
Boleh tahan ke?
I have migraine, klo x ckup tido, x ckup makan, boleh trigger headache.
Not only migraine, tension headache pun ada.
Tension headache tu, as the name suggest; headache sbb muscles of the head tense up - sbb stress or anxiety biasanye.
Ada yg saya kena makan beta-blocker hari2 nanti.

'doktor..doktor.. ubat ni macam mana?'
'Doktor..doktor.. patient ni mcm mana?'

Mcm mana klo sy x boleh jwb?
Mcm mana klo sy xtau nk buat apa ngn patient kt dpn sy ni?
Xkn all the time nk refer OHCM, or Sarawak Handbook?

What if I gave the wrong instructions?

Fkir2 balik, tu sebab la we have two weeks of tagging.
"Tagging" is a process compulsory for all new HOs in every dept.
I am not entirely sure how is the process, but if I am not mistaken you will be attached to an MO (read: Medical Officer. Senior la tu) and you tag him/her wherever she goes.
Wktu tu la nk absorb everythinggg..
Wktu tu la you don't have to answer for your own decision, because you don't make decisions.
You observe.

And if your supervisor deem you not competent by the end of the two weeks, you tagging time will be extended.

Readykah aku?
Sorry, belum kot.
So nak buat apa skrg?

Pergi la baca buku oiii..

Ok, lepas ni nak Asar.
Tadi dh azan.
Lepas tu, *janji kt diri sndiri*, pegi amik Sarawak Handbook.

kbye.

-Because life is a test-



-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

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