Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Fluctuating Iman

When I was in INTEC, someone (I forgot who) told me,

The Prophet's iman in always there, and strong.
The sahabahs' (people around the Prophet) iman fluctuate, but still strong nevertheless.
Our iman on the other hand, has a greater amplitude and frequency of fluctuations.
Sometimes, our iman level is vry high, sometimes it gets a bit low and sometimes, it is very low. Some other times, it almost vanished!

At that point of time, I didn't really understand it.
I mean, I did not expect it to be able to fluctuate, THAT much.
I think it was because of my living environment in INTEC.
I lived with good friends, my housemates were religious people, not to say I was unreligious, but I admit I have a lot of things to learn from them.

And so, the fluctuations were not of that high amplitude and frequency.
I was protected, from almost all possible directions.

Then, I entered IMU and was separated from my INTEC housemates.
And the environment changed; I saw, felt and faced more challenges and tests.
Sometimes I failed, I succumbed, sometimes I think I triumphed over them.

And undeniably, my level of iman did, fluctuate.
What happened when it was at its lowest?
Let's not talk abt it, it'll stay within me forever.

In INTEC, I spent a lot of time in hostel than in class.
Even when we were in campus, the surroundings are of good ones; decent people, few distractions and seductions and I hv to say, the restrictions by Cikgu Hasan; the SAD head towards our activities did in a way helped to protect us from the "world outside".

-to be continued-

p/s: the writer is struggling for her final exam. No time to write much.. heh..

-Because life is a test-


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