Tuesday, November 30, 2010

For The First Time

For the first time in my almost 2 yrs in IMU, I went into the student lounge..... to chill.

"Get a life!" was what my friends told me after lunch just now. Heh... ;p
But what is that life actually? What is that life that I have yet to taste?
Is it any better than the life I'm having now?
I guess it really depends on the definition of lifeeach individual have.

Anyway, I was in the lounge because my outing with my bestie was cancelled, due to some personal health reason, and I found myself amputated, having neither my laptop, study materials or even novels with me. And since the SRC room will only be opened in 1.5hrs time, we can't get our hands on any of the board games. I managed to stay like 30mins in the lounge and excused myself soon after. If not for the vast amount of work waiting for me at home, or at least if I have my novel or laptop to keep me company, I might stay there, chilling with friends. So sorry friends, I left earlier.

Anyway, I managed to quite a lot of errands for my family today; brought my brother to the barber, to the camping equipments shop to buy his torchlight, cooked dinner (yes!), iron the clothes and some other stuff.

And I also changed a little bit more of my blog design. I don't know why but, I'm always dissatisfied with the outcome. And when I'm satisfied with it, I'll find myself getting bored over the design after a few months. So much for being loyal eh?

Tuesday 30 November 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

Yet Another Spam

Hi dear
How are you today, I hope all is well with you .I am sorry to worry you with my Proposal for a relationship with you, but I know that you will grant my request in good sense and understanding, My name is miss Shadi i saw your profile today in the internet friendship site ()and became intrested in you,i will also like to know more about you.. i'm hoping to hear from you soon so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture. I believe we can move from here. Bear in mind that friendship and Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationality or distance barrier, the only important Thing there is love.
Yours Sincerely
Dated Monday, November 29, 2010 18:12:51

Thank you Miss Shadil, but I am not interested in this. So stop spamming me!!!!


My Weekend After The Exam

"busy body to tell to the world what are you thinking/doing yet like anybody really care."
-An opinion I quoted from someone's blog on why people update theirs.

I think the title (and objectives) of my post today suit(s) the quote really well. Busybody to tell the world what we're doing, or in my case, did. But really, if no one read my blog, means I did not tell "the world", and so what I wrote do not matter to most of the people. And if people do not care, they wouldn't read, unless they have more than enough time to do all the things they want in the world OR perhaps, like some people, read only to find fault with the writer. Duh, this is one type of a reader whose role is vital yet annoying.

Last night, one of my colleagues (no, I'm not working yet but lecturers are training us to call each other "colleagues", instead of "friends". Sounds cool too, heh) asked me how did my holiday go. And for the first time since my exam three days ago, I actually started to think, how did it go? And my answer was, "I went to One Utama yesterday, Mid Valley and Petaling Street today, with 3 different people. And I forgot to arrange my GP Posting schedule". And I found myself amazed (at myself) ;p.
No wonder I woke up with my whole body aching this morning. How I really hope those clothes can walk themselves into the washing machine and be washed before noon, allowing me a few more hours of sleep.

On Saturday, I sent my sister to her class in PJ, and went to my aunt's house in Damansara, to send the 2H home! I then went out with them to One Utama, had a real early dinner (at 4pm!) in Kenny Roger's and after fetching my sister, I went with her (my sister) AGAIN to One Utama. Now, that's two One Utamas in a day. I reached home at almost 11pm that night. Since my mother was in Penang and my father was in Johor, the only person who nagged me and asked me to come home early was my brother. :p
Freedom is sweet, but dangerous!

When I got back, after refreshing myself, I started to resume my blog-designing work. I actually left my blog "unkempt" when I drove out to send my sister earlier that day. And so, the result of that work that night is what you are seeing now. New background, lovey dovey, pink, and very pink; though I did not change much. I tried to make quite a major change, with the idea of making this blog looks more girlish and princess-like. But with all the complicated xml coding, I surrendered at almost 2am. I suddenly had that rush of princess-like feeling this week, unable to explain why, not because I do not want to, but just because I can't explain it myself. Let's just blame it to the hormones.

On Sunday, again I had to send my sister for her class to PJ, in the morning. And I went to Mid Valley to meet Diana soon after. We watched "The Social Network"' a movie made based on the book "The Accidental Billionaires" by Ben Mezrich. The movie revolves around the two lawsuits filed against Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook (yes, Facebook). For a thrill, action, romance or comedy fan, this movie might prove itself boring and showed no definite plot. But I was charmed by the languages used in it. Mark was depicted as a witty, sarcastic, piercingly smart but, not so much of a trusted friend. I am not trying to write a review, perhaps it'll be better to watch it yourself.

Mark is a very pitiful character to me, he is the youngest billionaire in the States, but is also one of the loneliest person on Earth. It's sometimes amazing to see what kind of situation people land themselves into. I know a lot of people who not only do not know how to appreciate, but also at the same time, hurt.

I became so absorbed into the movie that I can't get over it. I kept thinking of the story, the betrayal, the programmings, the wit and a lot other aspects of the movie. And today, I actually googled Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin, the Winklevoss brothers (or The Winklevi, as Mark wittily called them in the movie), Sean Parkers and a lot other names I watched in the movie.

And from what I read so far, the story did not depict the truth behind what happened to the lawsuit filed against the real Mark Zuckerberg. This is quite a made-up story. I could not find any information on Eduardo Saverin suing his bestfriend, Mark of cheating. Perhaps I havent read enough. And I depended on wikipedia for all the information, though I found wikipedia not so reliable, and the personal appeal by the Mr Wales on top of every page is annoying.

I know this post is already very long, and most of the readers (if any) might have left or sighed, seeing the length of it but, I can't stop myself from telling what I did AFTER the movie; since the title of this post is "My Weekend After The Exam", and I had 48hrs of weekend.

Diana and I went for lunch at The Chicken Rice Shop, and while waiting to be seated, I managed to take a picture of the hungered, bored and tensed Miss Diana. And some of our pictures while having lunch!

My sister came to Mid Valley (I asked her to take public transport and paid for her cab fare afterwards), and off we went to KL City Centre. Our first destination was the Central Market, but due to the packed parking space, we went to Petaling Street and walked around, looking for the farewell party stuff my sister had to buy. After buying NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING (unless if you consider two glasses of longan drinks as something), we headed to Damansara, my aunt's house again to return her car. Okay, the part of the story of how her car is with me, is too long to be told here and I do not wish to torture the readers more by writing a separate post on that so, let just accept the fact that I went to return her car.

After sending Diana to Sri Petaling LRT station, I drove back home and soon after, my colleague asked me, "How was your holiday?". And like I said earlier, my answer was "I went to One Utama yesterday, Mid Valley and Petaling Street today, with 3 different people. And I forgot to arrange my GP Posting schedule". Perhaps if he were to ask me the same question later today, and something else have triggered me to write this post, I might answer him, "Go and check out my blog. You'll know how my holiday went".

With that, stay tuned!

November 29, 2010


The 2H Fever

I'm sure Miss Diana Rizal will understand the title of my post today. =p

Well, "2H" is the nickname I gave to both my cousins; Hazeem and Haaziq.
Yes, I blogged about them before, almost a year ago. Phew, time really rocket.
A year ago, they came and stay over at my house for about a month. Then they went back to their parents hse. Last Thursday, again they came and stay two nights, for their father is in Mecca for pilgrimage and their mother had something on.

So yes, the 2H fever attacked and brought my immune system down again!!
They are very cute, and yes I mean what I said wrote.

I have no idea how to write more about them, so let the pictures do all the talking!

Kak, are you sure I have to raise both hands and put them on my head? I feel weird...


Don't you try mess with me! 

The last time I wrote about these two kids, they were still 4 and 2 yr olds. Now they are 5 and 3 yr olds!
And the older one knows how to spell ABC already, and their languages are now a lot easier to understand.
Although the "cing cing cing" is still there (read my post abt them to know what does that mean, heh)

And my my, look how much they have grown since a year ago!

More about the pictures:
1) I wasn't involved in taking them. My sister was responsible for it, she used my camera while I was digging up facts from my brain to answer exam Qs.

2) All the pictures above are pictures of Haaziq, the 3 yr old kid. I do not know why aren't there many Hazeem's pictures. Perhaps he's more camera-shy, while the younger brother is.......well, you can see for urself.

3) The poses by Haaziq were all instructed by my sister, who is very much a fan of korean stars. Thus, if you notice, he looks like a mini, cuter Korean guy

4) Diana, these were the pictures that I asked you not to view in my camera this afternoon in MidValley. Haha... 

Both of them, after being washed and wrapped by my brother. Oh man, they really rocked my house! They kept moving and giggling, I couldn't get a non-shaky picture.
Click! I dont have enough teeth!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The 2H Fever

I'm sure Miss Diana Rizal will understand the title of my post today.

Well, "2H" is the nickname I gave to both my cousins; Hazeem and Haaziq.
Yes, I blogged about them before, almost a year ago. Phew, time really rocket.
A year ago, they came and stay over at my house for about a month. Then they went back to their parents hse. Last Thursday, again they came and stay two nights, for their father is in Mecca for pilgrimage and their mother had something on.

So yes, the 2H fever attacked and brought my immune system down again!!
They are very cute, yes I mean what I said wrote. 

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Exam Eve

Again, I'm writing on the eve of my exam.
I tried to write at least one post every day these past few days. So far I've succeeded, except that I wrote some of the posts after 12am, which technically means, I wrote for the next day.

Anyway, I was supposed to send my parent to Bukit Jalil (BJ) bus station this morning, and spend the whole day studying in IMU. But, things did not go as planned when my mum required me to go a bank in Kajang in the morning. There is no way I would drive to BJ bus station, then to Kajang which is like the opposite end of BJ, and then come to BJ; IMU again to study.

Why am I writing about this?
Actually I do not know what to write about, I just want to write one post for today, and I do not have the time to write a PROPER opinion post. Ranting is always easier.

My exam starts at 9am tomorrow.
This exam, will influence my country placement by JPA; whether they'll send me to UK or Aussie.
*Pls send me to UK*

I have a feeling I'll change the blog's theme after the exam, give me a day or two. Or a week or two.. :p

I already have 4 appointments ahead of me, all planned within 24 hours prior to this post; such a busybody!


CSU Session

Like I mentioned last night, while most of my batchmates are studying at home, I need to come for my Skills Centre Session, and it was on urinary catheterisation.

And I tell you, it was one of the most fun, but also at the same time, a hard-to-forget session.
Urinary catheterisation is basically putting in a tube into a patient's urethra, up to the bladder to empty the bladder.
It is usually done pre-operatively.

So, the session started off with a video showing a doctor putting in the catheter into male patient's urethra.
And when the doctor put in the lubricating gel INTO the patient's urethra and squeeze the gel-containing bottle to pass more gel INTO the urethra, almost all boys guys in the briefing room squeaked and uttered "Ouch!!".
Of course, it was like a forced reversed urination!
And there I was, sitting in the middle of two guys.
I dared not even breath properly while watching the video, what more to let out a squeak.
I closed my mouth with my palm, and pressed it hard on my face; expressing myself.

Can you imagine a catheter being shoved up INTO the place where you urinate from?

Then comes the (almost) real part. Since we are not going to touch any real living patient yet, it is still an almost reality.
After being divided into smaller groups, we have a lecturer teaching 11 of us.
Tay, my friend was chosen to be the "patient" and I was chosen to be the "doctor in charge". And we had to do a role play. I was supposed to introduce myself and explain to him that I will need to catheterise him for his CABG procedure the next day. Well, you dont want just anyone to come and poke you unnecessarily, do you?

The conversation goes.....

Me: Hye, my name is Akmar. I am.....the physician (we usually introduced ourselves as medical stdnt. I hesitated to call myself a physician, heh) on call for tonight. How my I address you?

Tay: My name is Tay
Or something like that..can't remember his exact words.

Me: Mr Tay YZ. Correct?

Tay: Yes

Me: So you are scheduled for a surgery tomorrow. Tonight, I need to put a catheter.... err.... a device... err... (we aren't supposed to use medical jargons. And at this point of time, one of my friend helped and said, "tube") ..yes, a tube.. into your...... your...... pe.... pe...... (I looked into my friends' eyes, if they can help me saying the word out, or give me a better word for it) into your...... pe......nis?

Everyone including the doctor laughed, and I had to repeat.

Me: I need to put a tube into your penis. (I really spoke a lot softer at that point of time.)

It was really embarrassing but lucky enough, this is still my friend I'm talking to. I might turn into a stone if he was a real patient, with the potential of scolding me back for being such a stutter.

Then I forgot how exactly the conversation goes. But someone gave me a better term for it, "where you urinate from".

On explaining why I need to catheterise him,

Me: You need to be catheterised so that...... so that..... so that your operation tomorrow will be successful. (I was already blank, half stoned here, didn't know what to say.)

And the doctor laughed. "Oh, you put a catheter and the surgery will be successful? You never know, he might die on the operating table tomorrow."

So yea, after much stuttering, I managed to finish my role play with Tay.
And after that hardwork, I was given the chance to be the first student to actually do the catheterisation on...............a model. Of course it was only on a model!

So that was how my funny CSU session went.
Funny, yes. We laughed, yes!
But it was a difficult session too! I could not afford to stutter in front of a real patient. Perhaps, this is the reason why a lot of doctors prefer to work silently and put up an insensitive, uncaring face. Because in them, the un-comfortability is tying their stomachs! :p

Okay, tomorrow is my last day to study for this month!
Exam is on Friday, and I need to rest my brain (ceh!), after that.


Tay, if you're reading this....

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Study La, Akmar!

I've noticed, I write when I feel I need some rest.
So, when it's very near to my exam, and I spend most of my time with my books, I tend to write more, because I need more rest.
Where as, during the earlier part of the semester, I spent more time on a lot other things thus, I feel bad if I write, for I could use that hour I spent on writing to study.

And now, at only 11.15pm, my eyes are half closed (or half open, depending on whether your glass is half full or half empty).

I think I am a very spoilt medical student.
My friend in India has been sleeping 4,5 hrs only a day, while on this side of the world, I can't function well if I have less than 7 hrs of sleeping. How SPOILT!

And no matter how much I say I am spoilt, I will still go to sleep after writing this post.

While my friend was cheering for our last lecture for Semester 4 this evening, I looked at her eyes, frowned a bit, and said... "I have CSU tomorrow morning".

And she roared into laughter.
Yes, while almost all my batchmates are now on holiday (read study days), I need to attend my Clinical Skills Session tomorrow at 10.30am.
And she said the class tomorrow will be on catheterisation. Ouch!
I can't imagine being put a urinary catheter. Pain pain...

Okay, till then.

Tuesday 23rd Nov 2010
11.22pm (I spent like 10mins writing this post, and I will not check for any grammatical mistakes and edit them tonight).

* Let your bite be bigger than your bark *

Monday, November 22, 2010

What Are You To Me and What Am I To You?

I think almost everyone have this question posed towards people around them, whether or not they realise it.

(A) To me, you are a lecturer who always come late but never failed to deliver good and funny lectures.

(B) To me, you are a friend, who likes to sinisterly hurt me, and I do not know why. It could be because you're jealous with me. Or you are plain unhappy seeing me happy.

(C) To me, you are a friend whom I value very much. And I know you appreciate me too. But you are always preoccupied with your study, and I dared not bother you then.

(D) To me, you are a blood linked relative, whom I have put so much respect and hope on. I THOUGHT I can always count on you, to understand the situation I am in. For we have gone through somewhat similar experience. But you disappointed me.

(E) To me, you are special, and unique. You are a friend, bestfriend, partner, and a foe at the same time. Depending on what you did and how my mood was. I'll treat you better if you do the same to me.

(F) To me, you are just a neighbour. I'll help you if you need help. I'll smile if our eyes met. And I'll run if your dog chase me.

Well, the 6 points above are not an answer to a question.
Definitely not answers to a multiple choice question.
They are what I felt towards 6 different people in my life.

I wonder, what am I to them?

Lately, I've learnt an important lesson.
"Do Not Get Bonded Easily"
Throughout the years, whenever I meet new people, I tend to get along well.
And I started to trust, and feel their importance.
But now I've realised, not everyone think of you like how you think of them.
Not everyone value you as much as you value them.


Monday 22nd Nov 2010



Yes, we are not siblings from the same mother and father. We were born to two different men. But I thought the fact that we were carried in that same womb and the relationship we fostered all these years have actually made us "true" siblings.

But never had I expected those sentences coming out from you, the man I've put so much respect on.
When you claimed to have more rights than I do, for in you ran his blood, for "that" blood runs thicker in you than it does in me, I was shocked. How sad... How frustrating...
When you screamed telling me what I did was wrong, and that my attitude was the source of ALL our problems, I felt a sharp slit into my heart. Slow, but sharp and most importantly, deep. Too deep I almost can't bear it.

I know you were angry, and emotional.
But somehow, for you to utter those words, doesn't that show you actually have been keeping those thoughts in your mind all these while?
That even while we laughed and joked with each other as siblings, that tiny little voice in you had always whisper, I have less rights than you do.
And thus, I should not do what I did.
How disheartening it was for me.
I really really thought we were family.

You may apologise after this, I do not know.
I may forgive you after this, I do not know too.
But I know one thing for sure, I was hurt.
I was hurt to the point that I lost my direction.
I became unsure of what have I been doing all these while, and if we had ever been families.
I wondered, where had all the good times go.
And I fear for the future, for I do not want to have grudges, and I fear for the day we have to meet each other.

Monday, 22nd Nov 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010

Mood Swings

Girls are commonly identified as a species with very complex emotions and physiology.
But then, other than females, what other gender do we have in this world?
Answer: MALE.
So, by saying girls are complex, we're actually saying the reverse is true for male i.e males are simple.
That in turn, leads to males being "liberated" from a lot of responsibilities because....they are SIMPLE.

How many times have you heard of girls being blamed as the reason of a fight in a relationship?
How many times have people actually blamed that emotional instability and insecurity in girls as the source of trouble?
Actually, girls are NOT COMPLICATED. We are just different from men. That's all.

Having said that, I need to admit that girls do have mood swings.
We may be very cheerful on one day, and on the very next day, we might feel as if the whole world has turned against us.

Taking this one week as an example (since today is already Friday, almost the end of the week), on Monday I was kinda "emo" but towards the end of the day things got better as Hui Fong asked me to stay over in IMU till night. On Tuesday, I went to Dialysis Centre, was cheerful and spiritful the whole visit. And when I got back to IMU, the mood dampen a bit, but I was still okay.

On Wednesday was Raya Haji, nothing much to say about my mood. Visitors come and go and I had to clean up and clean up and clean up the house the whole day until 11.30pm.

Then comes Thursday, by far the worst day of this week.
It has already started bad in the morning, with me being disappointed greatly, and accidentally fought with a friend of mine. Things didnt get any better when the fight not only did not end, it got even worse.
As I was emo-ing outside PBL room, at the very verge of tears pouring out, came a girlfriend of mine.
She asked what I was doing and why I looked very sober.
Of course, sugarcoating everything, I smiled and talked about something else. Laughed too.
Then I went off.

The lectures did not get any better although I have to admit that Mr Benny Effendie gave a terrific lecture, and I laughed a few times at his "incidental" jokes. Too bad he'll be leaving IMU soon. He was a very dull lecturer from my last experience with him. And the night too, did not start well, with me having to plead to a car workshop to allow me to drive my mum's car home while owing them RM150 and promised to pay the next morning. (Who asked them to change so many things in the first place!). Before that I even had to call my friends to ask if they can send cash over. I swear my knees were trembling under that piece of trousers I was wearing while talking to them and calling my friends near the workshop.

However, the night ended kind of funny.
And that was what I think gave me that weird dream this morning, and my mood today is kinda high up in the sky.
I was happy, loved myself enough, even accepted the fact that there are just some stupid part of me that I cant afford to brush it off for now.
I even spent 15mins looking for that super high heels I have to make me feel "taller" "higher". Too bad, I cant find them. Need to ask Kak Ra where she kept it when she comes home.

And now, my mood has became mixed again.

Anyway, mood swings like this for me, is normal for a girl.
It's not that we are complicated, we are just like that.

I did not actually intend to make this post a sexist one, but it turned out to be like that.
Ok, goodnight!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My Idiocity

Does that word exist? Idiocity?
I don't know. But I prefer idiocity than stupidity.
"Idiot" sounds more idiot than does "stupid" sounds stupid.

There are things that I do not want to do but I keep doing, because I want the effect of doing it.
There are things that I did, for something else, but it backfired. I got some other things instead.

There are things, I know is not good for me, but I still do occasionally.
There are also bad things, that I do a lot of times.

There are times I wished I was stronger, and there are times I wish I can just fall back and not let logic control me.

I kept cursing scolding myself for being such an idiot a soft, but I did not have the courage to walk off. In fact, I do not want to walk off.

So hard la like this.

Anyway, this post is a very random one.
I wrote it because I need to kill some time before I go to sleep.
Good night!

Perhaps I'll talk about my Raya Haji some time in the future, I may write about it tomorrow!

Stay tuned!

17th November 2010


Study to Live, or Live to Study?

Assalammualaikum. :)

"Eat to live, or live to eat?"
I've heard that catchy phrase many a times in this short life of mine.
And I concluded, I eat to live.

Then suddenly yesterday, another similar question came into my mind,

"Study to Live or Live to Study?"

I noticed that since I entered semester 2 of med school, I'll turn cranky whenever the exam is nearing. And that cranki-ness was, in my opinion reflected a lot in my writings. And since I have less than 2 weeks for my upcoming exam, I think the cranki-ness is making its appearance again.

Back to my BIG question,
Some people study the whole day, their whole life.
They work so that they can pay their tuition fees.
They eat so that they'll have energy to study.
They sleep because they'll study when they wake up.
They wake up to study.
They go to the toilet, so that they can focus well on study.
They play so they'll be healthy, to study.
Basically ANYTHING they do, revolves around STUDYING.

I wonder what do these people get in return.
A medical degree?
Just that?

Sometimes, I wish I can literally knock their heads (read knock sense into them) to make them realise that, life is NOT only about STUDYING.

There are other aspects in life that we have to tend to, we have to be responsible to.

p/s: Perhaps some readers think I'm writing about my fantasy character but, trust me. There are other people like this around. I know at least one of them. =)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

15th November 2010

I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along

And theres a couple words I want to say
For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night

I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You`re my wife and my friend and my strength
And I pray we`re together eternally
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along

And theres a couple word I want to say
For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you

For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart now that you`re here
Infront of me I strongly feel love

And I have no doubt
And I`m singing loud that I`ll love you eternally
For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you.loving you

For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you
I know that deep in my heart

Artist: Maher Zain
Album: Thank You Allah
Copyright: Awakening Records 2009

This is one of my favourite songs these days. =)

Today was a very long day, starting with PBL at 9.15 am, an so unexpectedly there was no electricity in IMU for a few hrs! Even the library was in the dark.

My usual place of study, the PBL rooms were even darker, at least the library has glass windows. Me and Hui Fong were thinking of a lot of alternative places to study, which included Secret Recipe, Hotel Sri Petaling and even APIIT, the nearest college to us!

Thank God, the electricity returned at 11.30 am and I was able to resume my study.
I almost pulled a table out of the PBL rooms and put it at the corridor so that I'll get some sunlight to study with. I'll look like a total nerd then, heheh...

And even after our lecture at 6.30pm, I stayed back to join Hui Fong in...*secret*. Hahah..

Tomorrow will be another longer day, having to depart for to Dialysis Centre at 8.15 in the morning.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Semester 4

My heart still thumped very hard at any sudden sight of a black Toyota Avanza. While my eyes hunt for the vehicle's registration number, my heart was praying fast. Praying for the best. And till now, that agonising reflex action always end with a huge relieved sigh. I found myself wondering, "Why do I still feel like this?". My logic told me it's because, I have an unfinished business.

My semester 4 is ending, in 2 weeks time.
And early this week, I found myself waking up and freaked out, thinking of the exam.
I had been playing all these while, planning activities, doing unplanned activities, and wandered in my own fantasy world.
Now that I'm starting to hear the footsteps of exam nearing, I felt restless but at the same time, energy-less. How irony.

And not only that, my maid is no more here with me. :(
Yes, I have to admit now. I was raised having a maid doing almost all the household chores.
My mum is a full time teacher, giving tuitions everywhere.
Alhamdulillah, she's blessed with extra income allowing her to hire a maid.
And I have been having this same maid since I was 10.
I practically grew up with her, almost spoilt.

I rarely do household chores although, in my own defense I must say I know how to do them, just that I am not trained to.
I still do house chores on the weekends when she went for holidays.
And the last time she went back to Indonesia was after I had my PMR, and I did the household chores back then.

And this time, she's again on a one month leave, to Indonesia.
I sent her to the airport this morning.

I can't imagine how am I supposed to do the chores and at the same time, study hard for my exam. I know other girls are doing it too but.....(ok, I'm trying to be pitiful here).

My mum is laughing hard, saying this is just the perfect time for me to train myself before furthering my studies overseas. She's always worried I might starve myself over there, unable to cook and lazy to go out to buy meals. She went even further worrying of how can I take care of my own family later.

My my, I know pretty well all her worries are on a solid base.
But I'm still worried, I might not be able to do it.
My mum also said she's grateful that with the course I'm taking now, insyaAllah I can afford to have a maid for myself in the future BUT, that is absolutely not an excuse I can give to avoid doing housechores. There are just too many examples of women not being able to look after the house properly, depending solely on the maid and the maid is not doing a good job. She added, the reason we have such a wonderful maid is partly because she herself was trained in housechores thus, she can train the maid.

In my own defense again, I have to say that I know how to cook.......simple dishes.
Don't expect a rendang or kari or tomyam from me, please. ;p
Be considerate, thank you.
And my mum have been teasing me for being able to cook spaghetti better than nasi lemak. She said I'll not be able to proudly say I'm of Asian culture when I go overseas later. :(

Anyway, I'm praying for the best.
May this one month fly fast, and hopefully Kak Ra comes back to Malaysia.
There are just too many cases of maids refusing to come back, perhaps because they was married off there.

Btw, yesterday someone very dear to me told me that her boyfriend of 5 yrs had proposed to her, and planned to get married next year. And she is my age! I was very happy for her. Although she emphasised she isn't ready to be married at 21, the happiness when she told me the news could not be denied. What more when she told me the guy had bought a piece of land for their house. Oh btw, that guy is also our age.
Funnily, even after emphasising she is not ready, and do not want to tell her parents of the proposal yet, she had actually chosen the date 11.11.2011 as her memorable date! Hahahah...
Unfortunately, if that's really the date, there's a huge possibility I might not be able to make it to her wedding. I might not be in Malaysia anymore. :(
Anyway, V, I pray for the best for you.
Tak elok melambat2kan membina masjid. Hahah...

Monday, November 8, 2010

Being Free

I hope, the time will come that I can sit on the couch, watching TV in the evening and say, "Aaaahhhh... I don't have anything to do.....How nice....."

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Getting Rich

Dear Beloved,

As you read this, I dont want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday. My name is Omar Hasan a merchant in Dubai, in the U.A.E.I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared or anyone (not even myself) but my business.

Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends. I want Allah to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give also to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Algeria and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity Organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan , they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Thirty Five million dollars $35,000,000,00 that I have with a financial Security Firm abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations. I have set aside 30% for your time and service. Please reply me with honesty as soon as you receive this mail.

You know, I could have been very rich if all emails like this are real.

Sometimes, I thought of just replying to them.
And see how they plan to cheat me.
As long as it is not with computer viruses, I think I'm not that vulnerable. :D