RIGHTS

Yes, we are not siblings from the same mother and father. We were born to two different men. But I thought the fact that we were carried in that same womb and the relationship we fostered all these years have actually made us "true" siblings.

But never had I expected those sentences coming out from you, the man I've put so much respect on.
When you claimed to have more rights than I do, for in you ran his blood, for "that" blood runs thicker in you than it does in me, I was shocked. How sad... How frustrating...
When you screamed telling me what I did was wrong, and that my attitude was the source of ALL our problems, I felt a sharp slit into my heart. Slow, but sharp and most importantly, deep. Too deep I almost can't bear it.

I know you were angry, and emotional.
But somehow, for you to utter those words, doesn't that show you actually have been keeping those thoughts in your mind all these while?
That even while we laughed and joked with each other as siblings, that tiny little voice in you had always whisper, I have less rights than you do.
And thus, I should not do what I did.
How disheartening it was for me.
I really really thought we were family.

You may apologise after this, I do not know.
I may forgive you after this, I do not know too.
But I know one thing for sure, I was hurt.
I was hurt to the point that I lost my direction.
I became unsure of what have I been doing all these while, and if we had ever been families.
I wondered, where had all the good times go.
And I fear for the future, for I do not want to have grudges, and I fear for the day we have to meet each other.

Monday, 22nd Nov 2010
12.10am.
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com