Sunday, May 8, 2011

Freaking Me Out

Okay, I have to say this, the summative this coming Friday is freaking me out. I have not finished Musculoskeletal and Nervous Systems yet. And haven't even start on the sem3 and sem4 topics yet.

My mother has been worried seeing me studying so hard. Haha! She even forced me to go swimming with my brothers, and go to night market with them - to get some fresh air, according to her.
And since all the plans failed, we went out for dinner just now - my brother's treat :D

Btw, did you notice that the weather has been very hot lately? I have been sweating non-stop! Been drinking a lot too.

Wife's Husband
Last weekend, my childhood friend who was also a family friend came to my hse.
She married at a tender age of 20 and had a daughter less than a yr after.
She called my mother early in the morning, distressed.
She said she wants to run from her husband, who has been taking her money.
And this is not the 1st time she complains abt her husband.
I've been receiving constant message from her, saying her husband is physically hitting her.

So when she called that morning, my father went to fetch her.
And she came with her 2.5yr old daughter, with a moderate-sized bag.
I did not ask what her husband did, she'll tell me when she wants to.

But what surprised me was when she asked herself (loudly), why is her husband not calling her yet. Isn't he missing her already.
And she's anxious inside out because she did not bring her phone charger and none of us at home have a charger compatible with her Nokia.
She's worried her husband might not be able to call her if her phone runs out of battery.

I wonder, was she running away or were we abducting her from her husband?

That night, her phone rang and I saw her face lightened up when she picked it up.
Instantaneously I know that was a call from her husband.
And that night, she asked to be sent back to her house the next day.

From there, I can see that she really loves her husband.
Even when he had been a jerk and completely insensible, she still wants to be with him.
And she managed to do it for more than 3 yrs already.

She told me her husband is a good man.
Well, I agree to some extent.
At least he still stays with her, and the daughter wasn't abused, and they are staying with his family. Things could have been a lot worse for her.

Being raised in a broken family, and having a hard childhood, she admitted to my mother she's used to hard-life. So she doesn't really mind when her husband occasionally ill-treat her.

But I still wonder, how come a woman can subject herself to such an agony and pain, just for the man she loves?
And it happens not only to her, but to a lot of people around me.

I can just hope the best for her.
And may I be spared from that kind of agony.

-Because life is a test-



  1. maybe, in her mind:

    'dia adalah lelaki yang terburuk dan dia jugalah lelaki yang terbaik'

  2. maybe....

    hopefully he is the best man for her. dunia akhirat.

  3. often victims of abuse feel a certain affection to their abusers. it's a psychological thing. that's why abuse is a cycle that is so hard to break, because often the abused person has mixed feelings. and to be abused in the first place and not stand up to the jerk who is beating her up, the person probably already has low self esteem. she probably thinks no one else would want her except for her husband (a thinking with abusers actively reinforce) so she keeps on cheating herself into giving too many 2nd chances in her head..

    i know it is none of my business, but your friend needs help. things can always be a lot worse, that's not an excuse to put up with abuse.. think what negative message she is giving her daughter as a woman by accepting the beating..

    just my 2 cents, sorry it got too long

  4. Yes, i think it's a matter of low self esteem too.
    I've asked her to lodge a report but she has not. I'm not really sure how serious were the beatings but it wasn't that obvious, physically.
    She looked just as healthy as any other friend of mine.

    I'm not sure how to help her. The only thing I can think of now is to provide her shelter, should she come for help.

    Thanks for the 2 cents. :D