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Saturday, May 16, 2015

My Wedding Story #1:: Merisik

Assalammualaikum!

Ok, harini nk cerita about merisik.
Well, as far as I know, merisik ni tradisi zaman dahulu kala.
When a man (or his family) is interested in a girl, he doesn't approach the girl. Instead, he will send his family to approach the girl's family (sweet kan?).
His family will ask, Is this girl available? Will she be interested in our son? Can we have a better look at her? etc etc.
The family doesn't come empty handed though! They will usually bring a gift; most of the time, a ring.
So they will give the ring to the girl via the family and if the girl accepts the "risikan" (which literally means the peep), the ring will be hers.
If she is not interested in the man, then the family will return the ring (not necessarily on the same day, I think).

But....as time passes, and men started travelling out of their hometown, they don't approach the girls via the family anymore.
They approach the girl on their own.
Hence, he will know whether the girl is available or not, is the girl interested in him etc etc.
But because the tradition is already there, the man's family will still come to the girl's family to "merisik" - that makes it official between families.
Sometimes it's funny, the couple has known each other for years yet the man's family has to come and "merisik", to ask the availability of the girl. Obviously lah perempuan tu available kannn...

Anyway...
Akmal's rombongan merisik came to my house on September 21st :D *grin grin*
I was very very nervous. Mama and I went to scout for a new dress for me.
The dress cost RM221 in total! RM190 for the dress and RM31 for alteration, since it was quite big for me.
I wore the same scarf I wore during my convocation, a satin scarf which I bought for £7 in Rusholme.

One thing about merisik, the man does not come.
Remember the motive of a risikan? To ask if the girl is available.
It will be embarrassing for the man if the girl's family replied downright that the girl is not available, or is not interested in him.
So to avoid any embarrassment directly, the man does not follow.
Such a thoughtful custom.

So on that day, Akmal waited in the surau in my taman.
My father sent my youngest brother to accompany him there.
His rombongan consists his parents, elder brother and his wife and daughter.

He bought me a gold ring *wee mata kelip2*
He went to shop for the ring with his parents about a week before the risikan, and apparently it was their choice.
I was so nervous as he refused to give me even a picture of the ring; I do not know how will the ring look like.
Weyh, mak mentua yg pilih weyh. Tak seram?
Besar ke? Kcik ke? Emas ke? Kosong ke? Ringan ke?
:S
The more I think, the more nervous I get.
But I needed to advise myself, tu org bagi tau. Bersyukur laaa...
Be thankful!

According to Akmal, merisik is only between the nuclear families.
But my mum invited my first uncle over to be the spokesman.

Akmal's family arrived at 1pm.
I was not supposed to be there (according to my mum), so I waited in her room (because her room has aircond and I put on some light make-up and didn't want it to melt. Also, her room faces the front gate so I can see them arriving).

Akmal gave me a heads-up, saying his family arrived and he is already in the surau so I ran to the window and peeked out.
His mother was holding a nice tray with something on it! That must be the gift! Wow...
I thought she will just bring the ring in her handbag. I didn't know there will be a proper gift.
*ahaaaa excited*

And then I saw my dad walking out of the house to open the gate for them.
I was so nervous I can't sit still in the room.
My heart pumped so fast and strong it felt as if my chest is going to burst open.
I tried to eavesdrop and when I heard "datang ni nak merisik anak perempuan.....", I felt so *undescribable* and can't continue listening. I went back into my mum's room and waited for my sister to come up and fetch me.
When the time is right i.e. my family accepted the risikan, my sister will call me down for the mother to put the ring on my finger.

Just some happy pictures during the discussion. Credit: my beautiful sis, Aisyah

Future in laws

Future in laws, insyaAllah~

Before long, my sister came up.
I came down with her, all eyes on me (or so I thought), and sat on the sofa.
When my uncle gave the cue, my sister took a large cushion and put in front of my future mother-in-law, for me to sit on (bersimpuh weyh...), and the mother put on the ring on me :)

Here are some more pictures!

Sarung cincin, la cincin...

Close up :)

And the hugging that comes after.
Moga dipermudahkan.
Jgn la jadi mcm cite cite Melayu tragedi ibu mertua and menantu. Amiiin..

After sarung cincin, I sat down for a while and then was asked to go up again because my family wanted to discuss "further".
I went up, and admired the ring on my own.
Besaunye...

Then Aisyah gave me the cue to call Akmal and bro to come from surau and have lunch.
I went down too but did not have lunch with them.
I'm afraid I will stain my pretty dress.

The gift from them. There was kain in the box - for me to make baju kurung

Our gift for them - a fruit basket and two pieces of mooncake

My outfit for the day. And the ring.

-Because life is a test-


We have decided that our engagement date will be on the 8th of Nov 2014!
I am now planning for my engagement pula.

I completed this post on Oct 7th, that means I have a month before the engagement!
I am going to Masjid India with mama in a little while. She is still in her raya haji school holiday.
This post is scheduled to be published on May 16th 2015. Tomorrow another post will be published: my plan and thoughts of the engagement :)

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

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