Today I was scolded, or rather cynically told off by an anaesthetist.
She came in while I was looking at my phone during the surgery.
Perhaps she wasn't pleased with it - but to be fair I wasn't looking at my phone the whole time.
She came during that time I was looking at my phone, answering texts.
My luck.
It was an expected long operation - at least 5 hours.
Hence the anaesthesia practitioner MUST be present and continually monitor the patient.
I WAS monitoring the patient.
But I am still very junior in this field, there are still many things I don't know although I admit I should have studied more these past few weeks.
She then started quizzing me.
How do we calculate the fluids requirement for this patient?
Do I know the difference btw fluid maintenance, fluid deficits and fluid loss?
How do we calculate?
Fortunately, very fortunately, I still have my HO-time notebook in my pocket.
And I could produce a very good well-calculated fluid regimen for her.
She complimented me for it, thank God.
But she wasn't happy that I did not calculate it before she comes in.
Hmm, some of my seniors will always skip this part hence I don't routinely calculate them - perhaps now I have to start practicing the good practice, and not just the routinely done ones.
The next question was on perioperative monitoring.
What do we monitor in long operations?
I could answer but I could not really tell the indications behind it - eg temperature monitoring.
Why is it so pertinent for us to monitor the temperature in a long-standing op?
I know we have to avoid hypothermia, but why?
I know hypothermia reduces metabolic rate and sort of slow down our body, but I can't provide a proper answer for that question.
Well later on I found out that there is this thing called the Lethal Triad: coagulopathy / hypothermia / metabolic acidosis.
Hypothermia leads to coagulopathy and met.acidosis which will in turn aggravate the met.acidosis and coagulopathy.
She then said something about Anaesth is a difficult field, people always think we sit idly during operations, but actually, it is very difficult. She said I should read more, and not just sit down looking at my phone - right to my face.
And she walked off.
I felt so bad.
I felt so guilty
I felt like a disappointment.
My mood was so low the whole day. I did not dare to look her in the eye after that.
She was so nice to every other MOs - perhaps I have not gained her trust.
And from what happened today, it will be harder for me to prove myself.
I do not hate her. I brought this upon myself.
To make things worse, I woke up late this morning and was rushing to work.
Hence I accidentally wore sandals to work - instead of a proper pair of shoes.
And I have to go out to the wards and do pre-operative assessment for patients having their op tomorrow.
That made me feel even less professional - going around the hospital with sandals.
And I left my stethoscope in the car - which really, added salt onto the wound.
So now, I am sitting down and reading about anaesthesia concern on the types of operations I'll be doing tomorrow - the ENT list.
I hope I'll do better tomorrow.
And will regain the confidence I lost this morning.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
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