The first laugh-able event for me today was a scene in an episode of House MD season 7 which I watched after the OSPE paper.
Before that, I pretty much was in my auto-pilot-ready-to crash mode, talking, nodding and smiling on when I need to.
OSPE was a TORTURE and CRUELTY.
It totally was.
There were 26 stations, including 2 rest stations.
At the beginning of the exam, all of us were given with a question booklet.
And we are to sit at our own allocated station, my first station is station 6.
Didn't I say exams in IMU are like games?
Well, this is another proof; OSPE (Objective Structured Practical Examination).
As soon as the exam starts, all of us will flip the question booklet open, and find the question number we were allocated with. Since I am in station 6, I will start first with question 6.
At that station, a slice of the brain tissue was given. Oh sorry, a picture of it, not the real one.
And the question said, "Name the labeled part".
And I was like "Die! I hate brain anatomy. I can't remember any of these parts at all! I know the names...lentiform nucleus, caudate nucleus, thalamus etc etc but...which is which?!"
I labeled all but, I do not know if I got them correct.
And we have only 5 minutes for each station.
After 5 minutes, the bell rings, and we have to move to the next station, which is station 7 for me.
And there will be different models, X rays, or microscopic pictures in each station.
In between the stations, there will be 2 rest stations.
That is the time u use to answer the questions that u weren't able to in the previous stations!
I can say ALL the questions are logical ones.
The ones that we are supposed to know, but somehow all of them slipped my mind!
I can't even remember clearly the mechanism of action of each types of diuretics.
And that vertebral part...I spent almost 2 hrs studying it and I can't remember them just now.
And I was almost certain I might fail this paper :(
But then...a lot of people were frustrated too. Not that I feel good a lot people can't answer it, but it certainly made me feel better, because then it means the questions were really hard.
I know some seniors who aced in their EOS5.
And I wonder how did they do that?
They weren't those geeky nerdy silence type because I know them, that means they are quite talkative.
Did they study harder than me?
Maybe.
Or were they smarter than me?
Maybe too.
*sigh*
Whatever it is, I shall get back to revise my clinical skills.
I'll be "molesting" patients tomorrow, in front of an examiner.
I hope I wont tremble or accidentally scratched my patient or it will be embarrassing and cost me marks!
BTW, I MANAGED TO WRITE ONE POST A DAY FOR MAY 2011!
Today is 31st adi... :D
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Exam Day #1
Today is one of the loneliest day. I know but can't understand why did it happen.
Anyway, when I woke up this morning, one of the few things that came into my mind was "Is today really my exam day?"
Of course it is! Or else I won't be dreading the waking up part.
Then another thought came in, "What if I'm given one more week to prepare for the exam, do I want to accept it or not?"
I think I don't.
One more week won't make much difference.
But ironically, I felt as if 30 minutes does.
Even in that 30 mins before the exam hall is opened, I was burying my face in the notes, AS IF that 30 minutes of superfast reading can help me score better. But oh well, some of them did.
First paper was MEQ; Modified Essay Question.
Frankly, most of the papers in IMU are like games; I am not sure if other med schools use the same exam method.
In this paper, each of us has two envelopes, on the right and on the left; on the floor.
One of the envelopes contains the questions while the other is empty.
Then, when the lecturer gave us the signal, we have to take the first paper of the first question from envelope and were given 6 or 7 mins to answer that part, according to the marks.
After that 6 or 7 mins, the lecturer will give another signal and we will have to put the answered paper into the previously empty envelope, and take the second part of the first question to be answered.
At the end of the exam, the initially filled-with-paper envelope is empty while the initially empty envelope is now filled with answered exam questions.
Second paper was OBA; One Best Answer.
80 questions, to be answered within 2 hours.
I've never used the full provided time to answer an OBA paper before this.
I usually finished earlier than the allocated time, but NOT because the paper was too easy. I think it's more because I know there is nothing much I can do anymore.
But today....I found the 2 hours insufficient!
I didn't have time to check all my answers, while I was at question #43, the lecturer asked us to stop writing and put our pencils down :(
So I am not sure wheter I made any silly mistake from question 44-80 :S
And few minutes after I walked out of the hall, I heard some friends discussing among themselves, and realised I missed one silly mistake in question before 43.
*duh!*
Tomorrow is another game-like paper; OSPE.
I'll explain it tomorrow, if I have the time and mood.
Now, I need to prepare for the second battle.
:D
-Because life is a test-
I can assure you this happened during my OBA paper. What was the question eh? Forgot!
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Anyway, when I woke up this morning, one of the few things that came into my mind was "Is today really my exam day?"
Of course it is! Or else I won't be dreading the waking up part.
Then another thought came in, "What if I'm given one more week to prepare for the exam, do I want to accept it or not?"
I think I don't.
One more week won't make much difference.
But ironically, I felt as if 30 minutes does.
Even in that 30 mins before the exam hall is opened, I was burying my face in the notes, AS IF that 30 minutes of superfast reading can help me score better. But oh well, some of them did.
First paper was MEQ; Modified Essay Question.
Frankly, most of the papers in IMU are like games; I am not sure if other med schools use the same exam method.
In this paper, each of us has two envelopes, on the right and on the left; on the floor.
One of the envelopes contains the questions while the other is empty.
Then, when the lecturer gave us the signal, we have to take the first paper of the first question from envelope and were given 6 or 7 mins to answer that part, according to the marks.
After that 6 or 7 mins, the lecturer will give another signal and we will have to put the answered paper into the previously empty envelope, and take the second part of the first question to be answered.
At the end of the exam, the initially filled-with-paper envelope is empty while the initially empty envelope is now filled with answered exam questions.
Second paper was OBA; One Best Answer.
80 questions, to be answered within 2 hours.
I've never used the full provided time to answer an OBA paper before this.
I usually finished earlier than the allocated time, but NOT because the paper was too easy. I think it's more because I know there is nothing much I can do anymore.
But today....I found the 2 hours insufficient!
I didn't have time to check all my answers, while I was at question #43, the lecturer asked us to stop writing and put our pencils down :(
So I am not sure wheter I made any silly mistake from question 44-80 :S
And few minutes after I walked out of the hall, I heard some friends discussing among themselves, and realised I missed one silly mistake in question before 43.
*duh!*
Tomorrow is another game-like paper; OSPE.
I'll explain it tomorrow, if I have the time and mood.
Now, I need to prepare for the second battle.
:D
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Confession Letter
I came into IMU without knowing your existence.
Then as my semester 1 was about to end, I got to know you better.
But you were so far, that I barely think about you.
Then came semester 2.
I got to know a "milder version" of you.
Frankly, I liked it but, was hurt so much because of it.
People talked a lot about you; from the seniors to my own batch mates.
Almost everyone knows you.
Then semester 3, we got a little more closer and you showed a harsher version than before, but constantly reminded me that I have not seen the worst of you yet.
At that time, I didn't really care about how you would look and feel like when you are at your worst or even how would it affect me. I was too blinded by you at that time.
Semester 4 flew like rocket and before I know it, you changed.
You transformed and became scarrier.
I can't forget you neither can I be happy knowing you are there.
I am anticipating you but at the same time, hoping you will just vanish.
At times, you made me feel so useless and insecure.
I started comparing myself with other people out there, and realised I shouldn't.
Lately, I really am feeling the agony of your effects to my life.
But I've made a decision, I will face you.
I will face you with all the determination and energy I have in me.
I hope, I can overcome you this time.
And make you just a history in my life.
Tomorrow, we shall meet and fight.
Here I come!
Just you wait, End of Semester 5 exam!
:D
Btw, this are the pictures I took while my brother was drawing using Paint on the computer.
Repeat, he was using Paint. Cool eh?
-Because life is a test-
-But they are still stupid conversations anyway-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Then as my semester 1 was about to end, I got to know you better.
But you were so far, that I barely think about you.
Then came semester 2.
I got to know a "milder version" of you.
Frankly, I liked it but, was hurt so much because of it.
People talked a lot about you; from the seniors to my own batch mates.
Almost everyone knows you.
Then semester 3, we got a little more closer and you showed a harsher version than before, but constantly reminded me that I have not seen the worst of you yet.
At that time, I didn't really care about how you would look and feel like when you are at your worst or even how would it affect me. I was too blinded by you at that time.
Semester 4 flew like rocket and before I know it, you changed.
You transformed and became scarrier.
I can't forget you neither can I be happy knowing you are there.
I am anticipating you but at the same time, hoping you will just vanish.
At times, you made me feel so useless and insecure.
I started comparing myself with other people out there, and realised I shouldn't.
Lately, I really am feeling the agony of your effects to my life.
But I've made a decision, I will face you.
I will face you with all the determination and energy I have in me.
I hope, I can overcome you this time.
And make you just a history in my life.
Tomorrow, we shall meet and fight.
Here I come!
Just you wait, End of Semester 5 exam!
:D
Btw, this are the pictures I took while my brother was drawing using Paint on the computer.
Repeat, he was using Paint. Cool eh?
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Saturday, May 28, 2011
When I'm Saturated, I Eat
And when I am sad, I sleep.
When I am tired, I eat.
When I can't think any longer, I either sleep or eat.
Sometimes, I take wudhu and supplicate, but I hv to admit I sleep and eat more often.
I basically take the unhealthy but necessary ways of letting the steam off.
Ok.
I wonder if other medical students are as miserable as I am now, or was I too playful before this, putting me in this situation now.
Whichever it is, I get to go back to study now.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
When I am tired, I eat.
When I can't think any longer, I either sleep or eat.
Sometimes, I take wudhu and supplicate, but I hv to admit I sleep and eat more often.
I basically take the unhealthy but necessary ways of letting the steam off.
Ok.
I wonder if other medical students are as miserable as I am now, or was I too playful before this, putting me in this situation now.
Whichever it is, I get to go back to study now.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Friday, May 27, 2011
2 days more!
Ok. Really freaking out now.
I went to medical museum with Ah Kiew this morning until 3.30pm.
And we almost killed ourselves, hugging each other when we realised that we can't remember most of the anatomy parts =.="
But anyway, enough of my story.
My brother decided to study ENGINEERING and he is registering in Multimedia University (MMU) this coming Sunday. Good for him.
At least he'll be going there happily.
And now he is packing his bag, complaining that MMU does not allow students to wear jeans.
Come on...that's what I hv been facing for the past 2.5yrs.
FORMAL ATTIRE.
In INTEC, we had to wear formal only on Mondays.
In IMU, every day is a Monday.
Ok. That's all.
Get back to study.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
I went to medical museum with Ah Kiew this morning until 3.30pm.
And we almost killed ourselves, hugging each other when we realised that we can't remember most of the anatomy parts =.="
But anyway, enough of my story.
My brother decided to study ENGINEERING and he is registering in Multimedia University (MMU) this coming Sunday. Good for him.
At least he'll be going there happily.
And now he is packing his bag, complaining that MMU does not allow students to wear jeans.
Come on...that's what I hv been facing for the past 2.5yrs.
FORMAL ATTIRE.
In INTEC, we had to wear formal only on Mondays.
In IMU, every day is a Monday.
Ok. That's all.
Get back to study.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Mind o Mind...Decide!
10.44am
My brother is now at work.
Late last night, my mother started helping him packing up, for he has to go to Matriculation this evening. He looked very half-hearted.
Then this morning, there were only me, him and maid at home. And the situation was quiet. Both of us did not want to raise the "leaving-the-home-for-Matriculation" subject.
He continued his packing, quietly.
Some time later, he came out and checked the internet. He said he called TM, and appealed to change from Foundation in Engineering to Foundation in Management. From there he can opt for a degree in the Management Faculty; Accounts, Economics etc. But TM said no. He called again and again, and at last the officer said she'll confirm tomorrow - they need to see the quota for the Management course.
He wants a profession in Accounting/Business/Economy/Finance line, but he doesn't want to let TM scholarship go. It's like letting go a golden opportunity.
And if he goes for Matriculation, he will have to apply again for degree enrollment nxt year, and it's not something pleasant to think about, having it very hard this time.
9.39pm
I'm having a heart to heart talk with my brother.
He still can't decide which way to go; Engineering or Accountancy?
9.45pm
During lunch earlier today, he made up his mind.
He'll be going to Matriculation.
Just now, my mother paid RM375 for his enrollment into Matriculation.
But now, I see that he looked as if he preferred Engineering.
But he is not sure if he's more interested in Engineering, or the thought of a scholarship and studying in a Malaysian private univ.
He wants to be able to talk about technologies in the future, which translates into being an Engineer. But at the same time he wants to open his own business, which means Accountancy will be a better path for him.
Aihh...
He has not, found where his heart lies.
He is going to discuss AGAIN with mum tonight, after she came back from tuition.
I shall update tomorrow :)
If Matriculation, then he'll be leaving tomorrow morning (called Matriculation, he can register tomorrow).
If Engineering then, h'll be registering in IMU on Sunday.
Let's see...
May his heart be steadfast.
Amin.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
My brother is now at work.
Late last night, my mother started helping him packing up, for he has to go to Matriculation this evening. He looked very half-hearted.
Then this morning, there were only me, him and maid at home. And the situation was quiet. Both of us did not want to raise the "leaving-the-home-for-Matriculation" subject.
He continued his packing, quietly.
Some time later, he came out and checked the internet. He said he called TM, and appealed to change from Foundation in Engineering to Foundation in Management. From there he can opt for a degree in the Management Faculty; Accounts, Economics etc. But TM said no. He called again and again, and at last the officer said she'll confirm tomorrow - they need to see the quota for the Management course.
He wants a profession in Accounting/Business/Economy/Finance line, but he doesn't want to let TM scholarship go. It's like letting go a golden opportunity.
And if he goes for Matriculation, he will have to apply again for degree enrollment nxt year, and it's not something pleasant to think about, having it very hard this time.
9.39pm
I'm having a heart to heart talk with my brother.
He still can't decide which way to go; Engineering or Accountancy?
9.45pm
During lunch earlier today, he made up his mind.
He'll be going to Matriculation.
Just now, my mother paid RM375 for his enrollment into Matriculation.
But now, I see that he looked as if he preferred Engineering.
But he is not sure if he's more interested in Engineering, or the thought of a scholarship and studying in a Malaysian private univ.
He wants to be able to talk about technologies in the future, which translates into being an Engineer. But at the same time he wants to open his own business, which means Accountancy will be a better path for him.
Aihh...
He has not, found where his heart lies.
He is going to discuss AGAIN with mum tonight, after she came back from tuition.
I shall update tomorrow :)
If Matriculation, then he'll be leaving tomorrow morning (called Matriculation, he can register tomorrow).
If Engineering then, h'll be registering in IMU on Sunday.
Let's see...
May his heart be steadfast.
Amin.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Engineering or Accountancy?
My brother is having a haaarrdd time deciding for his future. He had been in this dilemma since like, last year?
He has in hand now, a scholarship for foundation in Engineering by Yayasan TM and a matriculation in KM Selangor, in Accountancy.
Engineering foundation starts next Monday.
Matriculation started last Monday but if he still wants it, he can register tomorrow.
My mother offered to pay for his Foundation in Business in Taylor's (that will surely cost my mother a bomb) but he refused it, saying it's too expensive.
Taylor vs Matriculation; I'd say go for Matriculation.
But Accounts (Matriculation) vs Engineering (MMU), I do not know.
I personally think Engineering is a more secured profession, and he can still branch out into business later if he wants to.
Btw, he really want to be a businessman, and earn a lot.
But if he go for the engineering scholarship, he will have a 10 year bond with TM, and he dislikes the idea of being tied up.
Whatever his decision is, I'm going to support him, whole-heartedly.
:)
But if he really chooses Matriculation, that means he'll be leaving home tomorrow.
That's too fast!
I hvnt even recover from missing him when he went to Shanghai last week :(
And oh yea, he bought me a China doll, a "real doll".
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
He has in hand now, a scholarship for foundation in Engineering by Yayasan TM and a matriculation in KM Selangor, in Accountancy.
Engineering foundation starts next Monday.
Matriculation started last Monday but if he still wants it, he can register tomorrow.
My mother offered to pay for his Foundation in Business in Taylor's (that will surely cost my mother a bomb) but he refused it, saying it's too expensive.
Taylor vs Matriculation; I'd say go for Matriculation.
But Accounts (Matriculation) vs Engineering (MMU), I do not know.
I personally think Engineering is a more secured profession, and he can still branch out into business later if he wants to.
Btw, he really want to be a businessman, and earn a lot.
But if he go for the engineering scholarship, he will have a 10 year bond with TM, and he dislikes the idea of being tied up.
Whatever his decision is, I'm going to support him, whole-heartedly.
:)
But if he really chooses Matriculation, that means he'll be leaving home tomorrow.
That's too fast!
I hvnt even recover from missing him when he went to Shanghai last week :(
And oh yea, he bought me a China doll, a "real doll".
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A Quick One
Salam.
No time to write much today. Mountains of notes to be read.
*dying*
(exaggerating)
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
No time to write much today. Mountains of notes to be read.
*dying*
(exaggerating)
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Monday, May 23, 2011
A Smack Right THERE
My exam is next weeeeeek!
My exam is next weeeeeek!
No matter how many times or how loud I shouted that my exam will STILL come next week. So I think from now on, I'll shout that to myself, to remind me that "my exam is next weeeeek!"
Just now, I was practising clinical skills with Ah Kiew and suddenly she said,
"Tomorrow will be our last CSU practice, and today we are still blurr blurr. Our exam is next week you knowww!!"
I have to admit, her sentence gave a big blow to me.
I didn't notice that.
Yea, the exam is next week; and tomorrow is my last scheduled clinical skills practice.
Everything should be on the tips of my fingers, or like Dr. Annie Tay said, "they should be at the back of my hand"
But they are still not.
SO now, I am really focusing on my clinical skills note, with the determination to be as serious, as "pro" and as confident I can during the practice tomorrow.
But I wonder, can I make a 360-degree change, in one night?
*sigh*
-Because life is a test-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Studying With Them Siblings
The mid-year exam for schools is ongoing now and because of that, the "study area" in my house has been occupied by all of my still-schooling siblings, and me. We sit in a row, everyone on their own table. And occasionally, my form 4 sister asks me Add Maths, and my form 3 brother asks her History or any other PMR subjects. I love this feeling, of studying alongside your siblings :)
I will definitely miss this moment when I go oversea later.
And I proudly find my brother amazing! He has such piercing questions coming out from his mind, especially when he reads History.
He questioned,
Why did Parameswara kill Temagi; the ruler who saved him in Temasik, just to run from the Siamese later?
This was the exact same Q I asked before.
And how on earth do the historians know that the Paleolithic people do not have religions? How do they know that these people bowed to sun, stars, and trees? We know since Adam's time, there are some God-believing human populations in the world.
Ok. Back to study.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Saturday, May 21, 2011
As The Exam Gets Nearer
As the exam gets nearer, the more disoriented I become.
There are a lot of things to be read, but there are also a lot of things that I have read, and even more things that I can't remember reading.
So the next thing I did was either: 1) abandon everything and go watch movie/video/tv or 2)indulge in a freak out session on my desk or 3)recompose myself and start reading again.
Nakbah Convoy
Today is also the convoy day in remembrance of the Palestinian.
It starts from Masjid Wilayah in KL and ends in Shah Alam.
Sadly, I am unable to join it :(
VPM was even sponsoring the petrol cost for the participants.
I can't bear the feeling of guilt if I did join the convoy.
I've been studying reproductive hormones since high school and I STILL can't remember their exact functions. Progesterone and oestrogen, they sounded almost the same!
Cuba la if one is named progesterone and another as triceratops for example, I think it'll be easier to remember their individual actions.
Ok. Back to study.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Friday, May 20, 2011
The Water Bottle
I find that my attention span is quite short, especially when my laptop is switched on. I suspected this disability of concentrating few days ago. Since then, I tried to time myself. I put a 15 minute timer, and forced myself to read; without being distracted. No toilet visit, no mouse scrolling, no typing and most importantly, no dozing off. And I found that 15 mins unbearably long. *sigh*
Every Student Has Their Own Way of Dying....of Study
I have some Architecture friends, who complained of being almost killed by their projects, models and assignments.
Eben during A Levels I saw that they lives are infiltrated by art and drawings!
And what more when they are taking degree, the amount of the projects, tripled or perhaps quadrupled.
So yea, Architecture students swim in their projects and models.
Engineering friends hmmmm...I dont have many.
Those that I have do not tell their study lives to me.
So I do not really know.
Pharmacy students?
I think they are being killed by their lab sessions and reports.
Medical students?
Well...Since the course is divided into two; theory and clinical and I am still in my theory years, I'd say we are killed by the amount of things to be read!
We don't have many labs (in fact the lab sessions we had can be counted by fingers), neither do we have many projects (thank God!).
We just have kilos of books to be swallowed.
How I hope the infos can just diffuse into my head like osmosis, from high concentration to low concentration *sigh*
When I get to the clinical years, maybe the challenges will be something else.
Readings AND clinical AND sleep deprivation perhaps?
So yea, every students have their own way of being (almost) killed.
(I'm OBVIOUSLY exaggerating here)
So let us find our own weaponries and fight against these murderers!
=.="
Why "The Water Bottle"?
Nothing. I ran out of idea of a post title.
*swt*
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Every Student Has Their Own Way of Dying....of Study
I have some Architecture friends, who complained of being almost killed by their projects, models and assignments.
Eben during A Levels I saw that they lives are infiltrated by art and drawings!
And what more when they are taking degree, the amount of the projects, tripled or perhaps quadrupled.
So yea, Architecture students swim in their projects and models.
Engineering friends hmmmm...I dont have many.
Those that I have do not tell their study lives to me.
So I do not really know.
Pharmacy students?
I think they are being killed by their lab sessions and reports.
Medical students?
Well...Since the course is divided into two; theory and clinical and I am still in my theory years, I'd say we are killed by the amount of things to be read!
We don't have many labs (in fact the lab sessions we had can be counted by fingers), neither do we have many projects (thank God!).
We just have kilos of books to be swallowed.
How I hope the infos can just diffuse into my head like osmosis, from high concentration to low concentration *sigh*
When I get to the clinical years, maybe the challenges will be something else.
Readings AND clinical AND sleep deprivation perhaps?
So yea, every students have their own way of being (almost) killed.
(I'm OBVIOUSLY exaggerating here)
So let us find our own weaponries and fight against these murderers!
=.="
Why "The Water Bottle"?
Nothing. I ran out of idea of a post title.
*swt*
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The Fluctuating Iman Pt 2
Click here for Part 1
And so, IMU was a real cultural challenge for me.
And to know that I am still in Malaysia, made it worse.
I am not saying that the people making up IMU community are of bad ones. No no no...
It's just that there are more types of people in IMU than there are in INTEC, where I completed my A Levels.
With more types of people, you're bound to see more types of habits, attitudes, and moral.
Of course, there are very good, good, moderate, and bad people in both IMU and INTEC.
But since my circle of friends in INTEC was smaller, I didn't see much variations.
So, back to the fluctuating iman.
When we are in the circle of good people, we tend to be good.
Not because we're hypocrite, but because there are less distractions and seductions.
We do not see the "pleasure" of bad things.
We became complacent in our own world, the world where all our good friends are in.
When we are instead put in an environment where bad things are considered a norm, sooner or later, subconsciously or purposely, you adapted, and blended in.
And the things that once you see as gross, became "hurm..biasalaaa" things to you.
Could that be due to the fluctuating levels of our iman?
Could it be that our iman was not strong enough in the first place, that when we are faced with just a little challenge, we were shaken?
Or are we SUPPOSED to be shaken, and then realised we're not supposed to and start putting our feet on the correct ground again, firmer than they were?
Whichever works for you, and for me, I hope will turn us into better people.
And sad to say, my level of iman has been fluctuating, very greatly lately.
I am scared.
Perhaps that is why usrah is there. To maintain us, in that circle of friends.
But sometimes I wonder, we can't always choose our circle of friends.
Only occasionally can we choose the environment we are in; so if we are not equipped, to be in a different circle, aren't we in danger?
So, if you really want to stop smoking, you either be very strong and be able to say no to your smoking friends, or stop befriending them.
-this is a public service message-
-THE END-
But before leaving this blog, watch this!
Atikah posted this on fb, a video that reminded her of our housemates in INTEC.
How I miss them. :(
Akmar, Atikah, Ain and Fatin.
Malaysia, India, Ireland and Manchester.
That's like thousand miles away from each other!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
And so, IMU was a real cultural challenge for me.
And to know that I am still in Malaysia, made it worse.
I am not saying that the people making up IMU community are of bad ones. No no no...
It's just that there are more types of people in IMU than there are in INTEC, where I completed my A Levels.
With more types of people, you're bound to see more types of habits, attitudes, and moral.
Of course, there are very good, good, moderate, and bad people in both IMU and INTEC.
But since my circle of friends in INTEC was smaller, I didn't see much variations.
So, back to the fluctuating iman.
When we are in the circle of good people, we tend to be good.
Not because we're hypocrite, but because there are less distractions and seductions.
We do not see the "pleasure" of bad things.
We became complacent in our own world, the world where all our good friends are in.
When we are instead put in an environment where bad things are considered a norm, sooner or later, subconsciously or purposely, you adapted, and blended in.
And the things that once you see as gross, became "hurm..biasalaaa" things to you.
Could that be due to the fluctuating levels of our iman?
Could it be that our iman was not strong enough in the first place, that when we are faced with just a little challenge, we were shaken?
Or are we SUPPOSED to be shaken, and then realised we're not supposed to and start putting our feet on the correct ground again, firmer than they were?
Whichever works for you, and for me, I hope will turn us into better people.
And sad to say, my level of iman has been fluctuating, very greatly lately.
I am scared.
Perhaps that is why usrah is there. To maintain us, in that circle of friends.
But sometimes I wonder, we can't always choose our circle of friends.
Only occasionally can we choose the environment we are in; so if we are not equipped, to be in a different circle, aren't we in danger?
So, if you really want to stop smoking, you either be very strong and be able to say no to your smoking friends, or stop befriending them.
-this is a public service message-
-THE END-
But before leaving this blog, watch this!
Atikah posted this on fb, a video that reminded her of our housemates in INTEC.
How I miss them. :(
Akmar, Atikah, Ain and Fatin.
Malaysia, India, Ireland and Manchester.
That's like thousand miles away from each other!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Fluctuating Iman
When I was in INTEC, someone (I forgot who) told me,
At that point of time, I didn't really understand it.
I mean, I did not expect it to be able to fluctuate, THAT much.
I think it was because of my living environment in INTEC.
I lived with good friends, my housemates were religious people, not to say I was unreligious, but I admit I have a lot of things to learn from them.
And so, the fluctuations were not of that high amplitude and frequency.
I was protected, from almost all possible directions.
Then, I entered IMU and was separated from my INTEC housemates.
And the environment changed; I saw, felt and faced more challenges and tests.
Sometimes I failed, I succumbed, sometimes I think I triumphed over them.
And undeniably, my level of iman did, fluctuate.
What happened when it was at its lowest?
Let's not talk abt it, it'll stay within me forever.
In INTEC, I spent a lot of time in hostel than in class.
Even when we were in campus, the surroundings are of good ones; decent people, few distractions and seductions and I hv to say, the restrictions by Cikgu Hasan; the SAD head towards our activities did in a way helped to protect us from the "world outside".
-to be continued-
p/s: the writer is struggling for her final exam. No time to write much.. heh..
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
The Prophet's iman in always there, and strong.
The sahabahs' (people around the Prophet) iman fluctuate, but still strong nevertheless.
Our iman on the other hand, has a greater amplitude and frequency of fluctuations.
Sometimes, our iman level is vry high, sometimes it gets a bit low and sometimes, it is very low. Some other times, it almost vanished!
At that point of time, I didn't really understand it.
I mean, I did not expect it to be able to fluctuate, THAT much.
I think it was because of my living environment in INTEC.
I lived with good friends, my housemates were religious people, not to say I was unreligious, but I admit I have a lot of things to learn from them.
And so, the fluctuations were not of that high amplitude and frequency.
I was protected, from almost all possible directions.
Then, I entered IMU and was separated from my INTEC housemates.
And the environment changed; I saw, felt and faced more challenges and tests.
Sometimes I failed, I succumbed, sometimes I think I triumphed over them.
And undeniably, my level of iman did, fluctuate.
What happened when it was at its lowest?
Let's not talk abt it, it'll stay within me forever.
In INTEC, I spent a lot of time in hostel than in class.
Even when we were in campus, the surroundings are of good ones; decent people, few distractions and seductions and I hv to say, the restrictions by Cikgu Hasan; the SAD head towards our activities did in a way helped to protect us from the "world outside".
-to be continued-
p/s: the writer is struggling for her final exam. No time to write much.. heh..
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I Have No Backbone
Hour # 1 - Sitting nicely in front of the desk. All ready to swim in the sea of books and notes.
15mins later:
While reading the notes, "Aahh... What's this? Let's see what ebook says about it"
Switch on laptop and modem. Check email, check blogspot. Check people's tumblr, then only check ebook.
Hour #2 - Slumping on the seat.
Check email, refresh blog see if any friend post new things.
Study again.
Cycle repeat.
That's pretty much what I do whole day long.
Study, and stop just for meals, prayers, toilet visits or occasional siblings distractions (Which are not really occasional. They're quite often)
If I have studied like this EARLIER, like really2 earlier, I dont think I'll be in this mess. In fact, I will be an unbelievably good student. :D
I have to admit, I have been neglecting my studies during the early months of this year. :(
So with that said, I gotta get back to study now.
Adios!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
15mins later:
While reading the notes, "Aahh... What's this? Let's see what ebook says about it"
Switch on laptop and modem. Check email, check blogspot. Check people's tumblr, then only check ebook.
Hour #2 - Slumping on the seat.
Check email, refresh blog see if any friend post new things.
Study again.
Cycle repeat.
That's pretty much what I do whole day long.
Study, and stop just for meals, prayers, toilet visits or occasional siblings distractions (Which are not really occasional. They're quite often)
If I have studied like this EARLIER, like really2 earlier, I dont think I'll be in this mess. In fact, I will be an unbelievably good student. :D
I have to admit, I have been neglecting my studies during the early months of this year. :(
So with that said, I gotta get back to study now.
Adios!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Monday, May 16, 2011
Flying Family Members
No, I do not have Superman or Superheroes as my family members. I just have good ones. :)
Last Saturday my father flew to Sabah for a company family day. Well, it was a family day but no family members were invited. I think it should be call Staff Day.
He's coming back tonight, and I hope he brings back souvenirs!
And I've just sent my younger brother, Wasil to his employer's house.
He has been working in a chocolate factory near our house since last year, even before SPM. The factory is expanding its business, especially to China. So being able to speak Mandarin gave Wasil this HUGE advantage.
He was employed to be their translator, and guess what.....
They are bringing him to CHINA for a business trip!!!
There'll be an international food fair in Shanghai and they need a Chinese speaking person to be their translator. Cool isn't it?
Fyi, this is a Bumiputera company so no one can speak Chinese.
So yea, he's flying off tonight and will be back in 5 days time. :D
Funnily, his employers (a husband and wife) thought I am his younger sister!
The husband thought so first, then his mother.
Then when the wife came, Wasil quickly introduced me as "my elder sister" before she presume I'm his younger sister.
Haha...
I'm jealous, because he gets to go China, free some more!
But I'm also happy for him, very happy.
And he's SUPPOSED to bring souvenirs back too.
:D
Some time this year my parents will be going for Umrah insyaAllah, and to Jakarta for a wedding.
See how many of my family members flying everywhere?
And insyaAllah....I'll be flying off to continue my MBBS too.
Most prob I'll be going Ireland, or UK.
I'll talk about it some other time. For now, I have to continue my Renal Physiology revision.
Adios!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Last Saturday my father flew to Sabah for a company family day. Well, it was a family day but no family members were invited. I think it should be call Staff Day.
He's coming back tonight, and I hope he brings back souvenirs!
And I've just sent my younger brother, Wasil to his employer's house.
He has been working in a chocolate factory near our house since last year, even before SPM. The factory is expanding its business, especially to China. So being able to speak Mandarin gave Wasil this HUGE advantage.
He was employed to be their translator, and guess what.....
They are bringing him to CHINA for a business trip!!!
There'll be an international food fair in Shanghai and they need a Chinese speaking person to be their translator. Cool isn't it?
Fyi, this is a Bumiputera company so no one can speak Chinese.
So yea, he's flying off tonight and will be back in 5 days time. :D
Funnily, his employers (a husband and wife) thought I am his younger sister!
The husband thought so first, then his mother.
Then when the wife came, Wasil quickly introduced me as "my elder sister" before she presume I'm his younger sister.
Haha...
I'm jealous, because he gets to go China, free some more!
But I'm also happy for him, very happy.
And he's SUPPOSED to bring souvenirs back too.
:D
Some time this year my parents will be going for Umrah insyaAllah, and to Jakarta for a wedding.
See how many of my family members flying everywhere?
And insyaAllah....I'll be flying off to continue my MBBS too.
Most prob I'll be going Ireland, or UK.
I'll talk about it some other time. For now, I have to continue my Renal Physiology revision.
Adios!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Sunday, May 15, 2011
New New Things
Today, I installed the new house PC. And for the first half of the day, I can't use it because my old monitor just do not detect the signal from the new CPU. It's very very frustrating! I even asked my brother to bring it back to Low Yat and ask that computer shop guy to fix it for us.
Until....Raymond give me a brilliant idea; try searching another VGA port.
And I found one port, way low down. =.="
So yea, we plugged into the wrong VGA port all these while. Malu je...
Then...we can't connect to the internet. The man said he put everything in for us already, network card etc etc (I chose the computer specs myself, the man just fix them into the CPU cabinet).
But when I checked the "Device Manager", no network adapter is found.
There was just this one unidentified driver named Etherner Adapter.
So I called the Low Yat man and he said he gave us an installation CD in the box, and we're supposed to install the drivers ourselves. Heh... Malu lagi skali...
After that, the new CPU works just fine. :)
Good one isn't it eh?
:D
And I changed my phone message ringtone, call ringtone, phone display theme and screensaver.
And I feel a sudden overwhelming affection towards my phone right now. :)
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Until....Raymond give me a brilliant idea; try searching another VGA port.
And I found one port, way low down. =.="
So yea, we plugged into the wrong VGA port all these while. Malu je...
Then...we can't connect to the internet. The man said he put everything in for us already, network card etc etc (I chose the computer specs myself, the man just fix them into the CPU cabinet).
But when I checked the "Device Manager", no network adapter is found.
There was just this one unidentified driver named Etherner Adapter.
So I called the Low Yat man and he said he gave us an installation CD in the box, and we're supposed to install the drivers ourselves. Heh... Malu lagi skali...
After that, the new CPU works just fine. :)
3.06GHz
i3
4Mbps RAM
Windows 7 Ultimate
ATI Graphic Card
Good one isn't it eh?
:D
And I changed my phone message ringtone, call ringtone, phone display theme and screensaver.
And I feel a sudden overwhelming affection towards my phone right now. :)
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Saturday, May 14, 2011
An Unproductive Productive Day
Whatever that should mean. I studied quite A LOT today. But if I maintain at this pace, I won't be able to finish the syllabus before the exam. So I have to SPEED UP! And it's really not easy.. :(
And I've just remembered; I have OSCE to prepare for!
That'll take two days of my week, to go to IMU and dedicate myself to the 4 walled room in Skills Centre, molesting myjuniors simulated patient. (Molesting means practice on them, do a clinical examination on them. =.=")
Out of depression, I asked my brother, "Why did I take Medicine in the 1st place? If I chose Engineering for instance, I might not have to face the book 16 hrs a day"
And he said,
"Because we need someone to sacrifice his/her life, and that person happened to be you"
Thank you brother.
That helped.
p/s: I'm not that depressed. In fact, not depressed at all. Only a bit of scared but apart from that, I'm still chilling. :D
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
And I've just remembered; I have OSCE to prepare for!
That'll take two days of my week, to go to IMU and dedicate myself to the 4 walled room in Skills Centre, molesting my
Out of depression, I asked my brother, "Why did I take Medicine in the 1st place? If I chose Engineering for instance, I might not have to face the book 16 hrs a day"
And he said,
"Because we need someone to sacrifice his/her life, and that person happened to be you"
Thank you brother.
That helped.
p/s: I'm not that depressed. In fact, not depressed at all. Only a bit of scared but apart from that, I'm still chilling. :D
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Friday, May 13, 2011
I Dont' Care. This is the 13th May Post. :D
Ok, I know today is already 14th but, I had to post the 13th May post now. Why?
Because Blogger wasn’t available yesterday!
See this…
But this post was written on 13th May so, technically I am still up to my 1 day 1 postchallenge.
What happened today?
Well, I had one of the trickiest summative of my IMU life.
I can say I did very badly in the OBA, though OSPE paper was a bit less hard (can’t say it’s easy!)
I went to visit Praba after that, good to see her not in her cast anymore; she fractured her leg in an MVA last October. :(
I then went off to Low Yat, to buy a house pc for obviously, my house. Our pc could not be switched on for months already and I always had to “share” my laptop with them (siblings).
At 7, we watched TVB’s “Rosy Business”, the Cantonese drama I am helplessly glued to now.
At 8.15pm, I went to Mines. My brothers bought new handphones while I accompanied my maid to shop for handbag and tudung. Yea, don’t be surprised. That’s hownice close I am to her. Heh..
Now, I am writing this post, aiming to finish it before 12am.
And then nk tido!
Tomorrow after Subuh I’ll start my jihad again. :D
-Because life is a test-
p/s: How come even Blogger detect this post as 13th May's? Well, Blogger has this one special features known as "Post Options". :D
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Because Blogger wasn’t available yesterday!
See this…
But this post was written on 13th May so, technically I am still up to my 1 day 1 postchallenge.
What happened today?
Well, I had one of the trickiest summative of my IMU life.
I can say I did very badly in the OBA, though OSPE paper was a bit less hard (can’t say it’s easy!)
I went to visit Praba after that, good to see her not in her cast anymore; she fractured her leg in an MVA last October. :(
I then went off to Low Yat, to buy a house pc for obviously, my house. Our pc could not be switched on for months already and I always had to “share” my laptop with them (siblings).
At 7, we watched TVB’s “Rosy Business”, the Cantonese drama I am helplessly glued to now.
At 8.15pm, I went to Mines. My brothers bought new handphones while I accompanied my maid to shop for handbag and tudung. Yea, don’t be surprised. That’s how
Now, I am writing this post, aiming to finish it before 12am.
And then nk tido!
Tomorrow after Subuh I’ll start my jihad again. :D
-Because life is a test-
p/s: How come even Blogger detect this post as 13th May's? Well, Blogger has this one special features known as "Post Options". :D
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Thursday, May 12, 2011
What Can't Money Buy?
Yes, really... What can't money buy?
Time?
Really?
Why then do we have two roads - highway with tolls and the usual roads without tolls?
I heard it was because highways are SUPPOSED to be jam-free and faster.
That means, those who can afford to pay more, take the highway, and have a higher chance of reaching their destination faster thus, saving time.
Those who wish to save, take the usual roads, and stop at every traffic lights and junctions.
Once, people travel low cost, took boats and ships and took days and months.
Now, people with more money take airplanes, and the journey is in only a matter of hours.
People with less money, do not travel.
Love?
Really?
Most of the domestic fights are either financial-based or disloyal-based.
With money, people can buy things and presents for their loved ones, and love can be cultivated, or reignited from there.
No?
Daughter made mother angry, then daughter bought a handbag for mother and apologise.
Mother became happy, and things are solved.
Husband worked 24-7, no time for family.
Then, husband decided to take 1 week leave, go for a holiday with family.
Take leave from work, needs money.
Holiday also, needs money.
No holiday, forever work...love also shy to stay amongst them.
Man loves girl. Girl doesnt love man, she loves money.
But man is rich so girl marries him.
Girl didn't cause trouble, does all her responsibilities.
Man happy, girl also happy.
Man get loved one, girl also get loved items.
Happiness?
Aren't they the same with love?
You are happy when you're loved, or is able to love.
No?
Peace?
Why then are some ferrocious countries colonising other weaker country?
The ancient Malaya kingdoms gave money / tax to the Siamese, and Siam guaranteed protection.
So the ancient kingdoms were basically buying peace.
So what then?
That is so important that money can't buy?
IMHO, it is LIFE.
A life that has all the above.
A life that you hv quality time, quality love and most importantly, humanity.
You can take the highway and save ur time but, imagine being stucked in the jam with your loved ones (I crazily think that's romantic), and spend that quality time together.
Be it with your spouse, parents, children or friends.
In a jam, people do not have any other thing to do, in fact they can't do anything.
So what to do? Talk...and laugh.
Spend that quality time together.
When you are at home, everybody have their own things to do.
Father watches news, mother does her work, sister studies (ehem ehem), 1st brother sleeps, 2nd brother draws and 2nd sister crazily laughs alone over korean drama.
I envy those ppl who laugh in their cars in a jam. I am stucked too in the same jam, but I was alone in the car, and the jam became horrible and unbearable.
Fight, as much as you can.
Then buy, a gift as expensive as u can afford.
But without the sincere apology, it is of no use.
Mother will still be angry, and daughter will be wasting her money.
Buy present, but only WITH the INTENTION of reigniting the love, will the love be reignited.
Go for a holiday, at the most beautiful beach in the world, stay in a 10 star hotel but without the peace, everything turns sour.
Of course, one more thing that is undeniably unable to be bought by money, sweet talks and eye-winks is RELIGION.
So yes, money alone can buy only ONE thing.
You can't get more than that.
You can't get a life with quality time, sincere friends, AND happy life.
-Because life is a test-
p/s: Sorry suddenly the post became long.
And don't mind the occassional broken English.
And thanks to Hazirah, for letting me take her tumblr pics. :p
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Time?
Really?
Why then do we have two roads - highway with tolls and the usual roads without tolls?
I heard it was because highways are SUPPOSED to be jam-free and faster.
That means, those who can afford to pay more, take the highway, and have a higher chance of reaching their destination faster thus, saving time.
Those who wish to save, take the usual roads, and stop at every traffic lights and junctions.
Once, people travel low cost, took boats and ships and took days and months.
Now, people with more money take airplanes, and the journey is in only a matter of hours.
People with less money, do not travel.
Love?
Really?
Most of the domestic fights are either financial-based or disloyal-based.
With money, people can buy things and presents for their loved ones, and love can be cultivated, or reignited from there.
No?
Daughter made mother angry, then daughter bought a handbag for mother and apologise.
Mother became happy, and things are solved.
Husband worked 24-7, no time for family.
Then, husband decided to take 1 week leave, go for a holiday with family.
Take leave from work, needs money.
Holiday also, needs money.
No holiday, forever work...love also shy to stay amongst them.
Man loves girl. Girl doesnt love man, she loves money.
But man is rich so girl marries him.
Girl didn't cause trouble, does all her responsibilities.
Man happy, girl also happy.
Man get loved one, girl also get loved items.
Happiness?
Aren't they the same with love?
You are happy when you're loved, or is able to love.
No?
Peace?
Why then are some ferrocious countries colonising other weaker country?
The ancient Malaya kingdoms gave money / tax to the Siamese, and Siam guaranteed protection.
So the ancient kingdoms were basically buying peace.
So what then?
That is so important that money can't buy?
IMHO, it is LIFE.
A life that has all the above.
A life that you hv quality time, quality love and most importantly, humanity.
You can take the highway and save ur time but, imagine being stucked in the jam with your loved ones (I crazily think that's romantic), and spend that quality time together.
Be it with your spouse, parents, children or friends.
In a jam, people do not have any other thing to do, in fact they can't do anything.
So what to do? Talk...and laugh.
Spend that quality time together.
When you are at home, everybody have their own things to do.
Father watches news, mother does her work, sister studies (ehem ehem), 1st brother sleeps, 2nd brother draws and 2nd sister crazily laughs alone over korean drama.
I envy those ppl who laugh in their cars in a jam. I am stucked too in the same jam, but I was alone in the car, and the jam became horrible and unbearable.
Fight, as much as you can.
Then buy, a gift as expensive as u can afford.
But without the sincere apology, it is of no use.
Mother will still be angry, and daughter will be wasting her money.
Buy present, but only WITH the INTENTION of reigniting the love, will the love be reignited.
Go for a holiday, at the most beautiful beach in the world, stay in a 10 star hotel but without the peace, everything turns sour.
Of course, one more thing that is undeniably unable to be bought by money, sweet talks and eye-winks is RELIGION.
So yes, money alone can buy only ONE thing.
You can't get more than that.
You can't get a life with quality time, sincere friends, AND happy life.
-Because life is a test-
p/s: Sorry suddenly the post became long.
And don't mind the occassional broken English.
And thanks to Hazirah, for letting me take her tumblr pics. :p
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I'm So Gonna Change My Blog Layout
Yes. Just.you.wait.
I'll design a new blog layout, after my exam in June.
I've been browsing through people's blogs and I am getting more and more inspirations and restrictions. It must not be too dark, bcos then it'll be hard to read. It must not be too serious, people say I'm serious enough in real life so I'd better make my blog a bit more girlish and childish, at least there's a balance btw my real life and imaginary life. cewah.
I might use white as background, because then the fonts can be read easier, and I'll have a lot of colours to choose from for the writing.
I'll choose various fonts. :)
And I'll griiin after finishing it.
just.you.wait.
ada ubi ada batas, ada hari saya balas! *eh, ada kena mengena ke?*
Malware Lagii
This one, I really don't understand.
Why is Dr Mahathir's blog STILL considered as malware?
I can't even read his writings anymore.
Does he realise it?
Can't he do anything about it?
He blogs to unblock.
But it seems now even his blog has been blocked. *now, that rhymes*
And it's either I do not read enough news or, the news of his blog being blocked were not disseminated, just like how supposedly-Anwar's controversial videos were.
I really think the media (or anyone behind them) is blowing this video news out of proportion. Shame shame...
Do you know how to read/pronounce "biceps brachii"?
Try reading the subheading of this paragraph the same way. :D
Chemical Sister
My sister is in form 4 now, and was just introduced to Chemistry and Add Maths.
It took me such a long time, and emotions too, just to teach her the relations between number of moles, Avogadro constant, relative atomic mass, volume of gas at STP and RTP, number of atoms/molecules and electron confiq. Oh mann.. I remember being confused myself, but I cant remember being that "stubborn and emotional" while studying that.
And Add Maths, the gradient of a straight line that is parallel to x-axis is always undefined? And why can't (3x-2)^2 be solved just by squaring each and individual constant?
:S
Btw, the subheading is meaningless.
She's my real human sister, not conjured from chemicals.
Lastly....
If tomorrow is End of Semester Exam, I WILL FAIL.
Ok.bye.
Back to study!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
I'll design a new blog layout, after my exam in June.
I've been browsing through people's blogs and I am getting more and more inspirations and restrictions. It must not be too dark, bcos then it'll be hard to read. It must not be too serious, people say I'm serious enough in real life so I'd better make my blog a bit more girlish and childish, at least there's a balance btw my real life and imaginary life. cewah.
I might use white as background, because then the fonts can be read easier, and I'll have a lot of colours to choose from for the writing.
I'll choose various fonts. :)
And I'll griiin after finishing it.
just.you.wait.
ada ubi ada batas, ada hari saya balas! *eh, ada kena mengena ke?*
Malware Lagii
This one, I really don't understand.
Why is Dr Mahathir's blog STILL considered as malware?
I can't even read his writings anymore.
Does he realise it?
Can't he do anything about it?
He blogs to unblock.
But it seems now even his blog has been blocked. *now, that rhymes*
And it's either I do not read enough news or, the news of his blog being blocked were not disseminated, just like how supposedly-Anwar's controversial videos were.
I really think the media (or anyone behind them) is blowing this video news out of proportion. Shame shame...
Do you know how to read/pronounce "biceps brachii"?
Try reading the subheading of this paragraph the same way. :D
Chemical Sister
My sister is in form 4 now, and was just introduced to Chemistry and Add Maths.
It took me such a long time, and emotions too, just to teach her the relations between number of moles, Avogadro constant, relative atomic mass, volume of gas at STP and RTP, number of atoms/molecules and electron confiq. Oh mann.. I remember being confused myself, but I cant remember being that "stubborn and emotional" while studying that.
And Add Maths, the gradient of a straight line that is parallel to x-axis is always undefined? And why can't (3x-2)^2 be solved just by squaring each and individual constant?
:S
Btw, the subheading is meaningless.
She's my real human sister, not conjured from chemicals.
Lastly....
If tomorrow is End of Semester Exam, I WILL FAIL.
Ok.bye.
Back to study!
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Muscles of Upper Limb
I went to MMS just now, to "molest" the anatomy models. But when I got there, the models of upper limb muscles were all so messed up! The individual muscles from 3 models lying on the shelves, and worse, they were mixed with the models of lower limb muscles.
So, I went on a quest.
Eheh..
I took all the individual muscles, open my notes and Gray's, and start scrutinising the muscles, putting them back on their places, on the "mother" model.
I took at least 2 hrs u know! Just to read back the description, action, points of origin and insertion of the muscles and their relations.
And I managed to sort them back :D
I'm sooo proud..
The librarian should thank me, for doing part of her work for her.
But there’s this one thing, I wonder why la, the number labelling on the parts of the models are all so smaaaalll… I can barely read them, in fact, I often miss them.
So yea, that’s pretty much my activity for today.
Last night, despite the blackout (which translates into no fan, no light and no internet thus hot, and serangan nyamuk antarabangsa), I managed to sleep, with my blanket on! At times, throughout the night I can hear my maid and sis complaining and grunting of hot and mosquitoes.
And now, although the electrical supply is here, the modem lights are blinking! Aarrgh.. I haven’t been able to surf any website yet, even signing into ym is difficult, the connection is so unstable. I just hope I’ll be able to post this before 12pm, again.
Facebook statuses
I notice my friends are posting statuses related to either their 1)working lives or 2)married lives. And I have been posting statuses about study and exams.
And I’ll keep posting those kind of statuses for the next 3yrs. Pergh!
Medical Joke
This morning, as I wasstudying surfing the net, I saw one post about this one medical joke. Heh..
You Know You Are A Medical Student When....
1) You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for, and realise you’ll get a medical doctor title the same time your friend gets a PhD doctor title.
2) You contemplate anything between dropping out and suicide after you finish each exam, even before knowing the results.
3) You get depressed and emotional just thinking about how bad a doctor you’ll become in a few years.
4) You answer every question with, “Hmm (pretending to think for a second), I don’t know.” And you know the most correct answer is, “It depends, sir.”
5) You diagnose every single abnormality on yourself/family/friends as a life-threatening condition. You think the tiny haematoma on your finger is a risk for PE (Pulmonary Embolism).
6) You watch House and ER, and think you can score in the exams and get through medical school. Wrong, only Dr.Wikipedia helps. (well no, Wikipedia is unreliable, I'd rather go for emedicine)
7) You instantly feel that you want to bang your head against the wall whenever someone says “You’re a medical student? You must be very smart then!”, because it’s an unbearable accusation.
8)You work out so that you get a six pack, so that you will make a good simulated patient for the seniors. (Ok my juniors, I SAW you.. Hahaha)
9) Your friend/cousin zooms in front of you with his brand new car and treats you to lunch with his own paycheck and on top of that, talks about property and houses to buy. And you’re still struggling to buy second hand reference books. (not yet)
10) You have exams in a few days and when you try doing practice questions, you don’t know what to do with your pen besides underlining the key words in the question.
11) Conversations with people involve “So tell me what happened.”, “So how does that make you feel?”, and “I understand it must be very difficult for you.” (or "How long has it been?")
12) You have a peak moment in life when a senior says “good” or “well done”; it’s so relieving to know you’re not a complete drain on society.
13) You’re content knowing that you actually do lead a normal and sane life. Even if it’s just a few hours in a day, while you’re asleep.
14) You’re completely socially retarded when you hang out with non-medics as you don't know what to talk about besides your miserable life as a medical student.
15) A patient/doctor asks if you've done a procedure before (e.g. cannulation, suturing) and you say "Yes", without revealing the fact that the previous patients were plastic models.
16) You don’t understand why summer vacation is only one month, although summer itself is three months. (Yeah loh)
17)You wash your hands after meals and the loo using the 6-step technique. (Isn't it 5? Oh..6?)
18) You’re secretly happy that the really smart guy stopped medical school and start complotting who next to eliminate. Just so the normal distribution skews to the left so you won’t fail.
19) Your roommate, housemate, neighbour, boyfriend, girlfriend, any close friends and practically everybody are not spared from being your simulated patient. (SO TRUE!)
20) You can’t wait for weekends, so that you can catch up on your readings.
21) You have a list of pathologies that you don't mind dying from. Definitely not cancer though.
22) You count the days till your next more-than-two-days-weekend-break, which is at least 4 months away.
23) "SOB" means short of breath to you.
24) You know the size of a RBC.
25) Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year.
26) It doesn't matter how much you study, there is always so much more material to learn.
27) You are more familiar with last names such as Netter, Moore, Grant, Guyton, Robbins, etc than the last names of your classmates.
28) You wonder when you'll have time to get married and start a family.
29) You check the nutritional chart in the boxes of everything you eat. (Not really...)
30) Right before exams, you have a hard time remembering why you want to be a doctor.
31) You don't have "backpain"; you have a somatic dysfunction on ....
32) When you wonder why people are giving you weird looks as your friend explains the latest perverted mnemonic to you as you sit in a cafe.
33) ER begins to make sense.
34) Getting a B is actually pretty darn good.
35) You often mumble to yourself, “F***! Am I supposed to know that?” as soon as you see or hear about some disease/symptom/sign that you completely have no clue about. Then you blame it on the medical school for not teaching you that.
36) When you check out the bones on everybody's plate at dinner and tell them which one is a humerus and which one is a tibia and you genuinely think they will be interested and they genuinely wish you would shut up and let them eat in peace...
Jung Sungha!
I was introduced this Jung Sungha kid few days back (or was it yesterday? I'm so time disoriented nowadays).
And I think he's cool!
He arranged guitar notes of some of the cool songs, and play them!
He played Grenade, Just The Way You Are, and don't be surprised, Pirates of the Caribbean too!
And he even has his own website.
But one weakness is, he doesn't smile!
It made him look emotionless, and so robotic.
I bet if he smiles, he'll look like he's enjoying himself, playing the guitar.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
So, I went on a quest.
Eheh..
I took all the individual muscles, open my notes and Gray's, and start scrutinising the muscles, putting them back on their places, on the "mother" model.
I took at least 2 hrs u know! Just to read back the description, action, points of origin and insertion of the muscles and their relations.
And I managed to sort them back :D
I'm sooo proud..
The librarian should thank me, for doing part of her work for her.
But there’s this one thing, I wonder why la, the number labelling on the parts of the models are all so smaaaalll… I can barely read them, in fact, I often miss them.
So yea, that’s pretty much my activity for today.
Last night, despite the blackout (which translates into no fan, no light and no internet thus hot, and serangan nyamuk antarabangsa), I managed to sleep, with my blanket on! At times, throughout the night I can hear my maid and sis complaining and grunting of hot and mosquitoes.
And now, although the electrical supply is here, the modem lights are blinking! Aarrgh.. I haven’t been able to surf any website yet, even signing into ym is difficult, the connection is so unstable. I just hope I’ll be able to post this before 12pm, again.
Facebook statuses
I notice my friends are posting statuses related to either their 1)working lives or 2)married lives. And I have been posting statuses about study and exams.
And I’ll keep posting those kind of statuses for the next 3yrs. Pergh!
Medical Joke
This morning, as I was
You Know You Are A Medical Student When....
1) You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for, and realise you’ll get a medical doctor title the same time your friend gets a PhD doctor title.
2) You contemplate anything between dropping out and suicide after you finish each exam, even before knowing the results.
3) You get depressed and emotional just thinking about how bad a doctor you’ll become in a few years.
4) You answer every question with, “Hmm (pretending to think for a second), I don’t know.” And you know the most correct answer is, “It depends, sir.”
5) You diagnose every single abnormality on yourself/family/friends as a life-threatening condition. You think the tiny haematoma on your finger is a risk for PE (Pulmonary Embolism).
6) You watch House and ER, and think you can score in the exams and get through medical school. Wrong, only Dr.Wikipedia helps. (well no, Wikipedia is unreliable, I'd rather go for emedicine)
7) You instantly feel that you want to bang your head against the wall whenever someone says “You’re a medical student? You must be very smart then!”, because it’s an unbearable accusation.
8)You work out so that you get a six pack, so that you will make a good simulated patient for the seniors. (Ok my juniors, I SAW you.. Hahaha)
9) Your friend/cousin zooms in front of you with his brand new car and treats you to lunch with his own paycheck and on top of that, talks about property and houses to buy. And you’re still struggling to buy second hand reference books. (not yet)
10) You have exams in a few days and when you try doing practice questions, you don’t know what to do with your pen besides underlining the key words in the question.
11) Conversations with people involve “So tell me what happened.”, “So how does that make you feel?”, and “I understand it must be very difficult for you.” (or "How long has it been?")
12) You have a peak moment in life when a senior says “good” or “well done”; it’s so relieving to know you’re not a complete drain on society.
13) You’re content knowing that you actually do lead a normal and sane life. Even if it’s just a few hours in a day, while you’re asleep.
14) You’re completely socially retarded when you hang out with non-medics as you don't know what to talk about besides your miserable life as a medical student.
15) A patient/doctor asks if you've done a procedure before (e.g. cannulation, suturing) and you say "Yes", without revealing the fact that the previous patients were plastic models.
16) You don’t understand why summer vacation is only one month, although summer itself is three months. (Yeah loh)
17)You wash your hands after meals and the loo using the 6-step technique. (Isn't it 5? Oh..6?)
18) You’re secretly happy that the really smart guy stopped medical school and start complotting who next to eliminate. Just so the normal distribution skews to the left so you won’t fail.
19) Your roommate, housemate, neighbour, boyfriend, girlfriend, any close friends and practically everybody are not spared from being your simulated patient. (SO TRUE!)
20) You can’t wait for weekends, so that you can catch up on your readings.
21) You have a list of pathologies that you don't mind dying from. Definitely not cancer though.
22) You count the days till your next more-than-two-days-weekend-break, which is at least 4 months away.
23) "SOB" means short of breath to you.
24) You know the size of a RBC.
25) Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year.
26) It doesn't matter how much you study, there is always so much more material to learn.
27) You are more familiar with last names such as Netter, Moore, Grant, Guyton, Robbins, etc than the last names of your classmates.
28) You wonder when you'll have time to get married and start a family.
29) You check the nutritional chart in the boxes of everything you eat. (Not really...)
30) Right before exams, you have a hard time remembering why you want to be a doctor.
31) You don't have "backpain"; you have a somatic dysfunction on ....
32) When you wonder why people are giving you weird looks as your friend explains the latest perverted mnemonic to you as you sit in a cafe.
33) ER begins to make sense.
34) Getting a B is actually pretty darn good.
35) You often mumble to yourself, “F***! Am I supposed to know that?” as soon as you see or hear about some disease/symptom/sign that you completely have no clue about. Then you blame it on the medical school for not teaching you that.
36) When you check out the bones on everybody's plate at dinner and tell them which one is a humerus and which one is a tibia and you genuinely think they will be interested and they genuinely wish you would shut up and let them eat in peace...
Jung Sungha!
I was introduced this Jung Sungha kid few days back (or was it yesterday? I'm so time disoriented nowadays).
And I think he's cool!
He arranged guitar notes of some of the cool songs, and play them!
He played Grenade, Just The Way You Are, and don't be surprised, Pirates of the Caribbean too!
And he even has his own website.
But one weakness is, he doesn't smile!
It made him look emotionless, and so robotic.
I bet if he smiles, he'll look like he's enjoying himself, playing the guitar.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Monday, May 9, 2011
The 9th May Post
Today marks the 1st birthday of my self-bought bear, I have yet to think of a name for him – yes it’s a him. Hahaha.. It was on this day, last year that I volunteered with Viva Palestina Malaysia in their charity bazaar. They had a similar bazaar not long ago, but unfortunately I was unable to join them. :(
It was already too near my exam. In fact, I had to let go quite a number of interesting activities! That included Dr Azzam Tamimi’s talk, Sheikh Imran Hosein’s talk, and some other outing with friends!
9th May is a lot better day than 9th April. I don’t like 9th April, for a personal reason. I’m sorry if any of you were born on that day. This small bear is a symbol of hope and friend to me. And I bought it for, RM2 if I’m not wrong. Who says only expensive things are valuable and meaningful?
And guess what, I am writing this in the dark and it is already 11.41pm! There is a blackout in my house and even though my laptop can survive on battery, the modem can’t. And so, I really2 hope the electric will come back before 12am, so that I will be able to post this journal, and keep up to my one post a day challenge. Tu la Akmar! Procrastinate since morning!
Last night I slept at 2+ am, the latest so far. And surprisingly, am still able to wake up for Subuh and continued studying after breakfast. Usually, if I do not have enough sleep, I’ll “syahid” right after Subuh prayer. It seems like the exam has finally disrupted my sleeping pattern. By 3pm, I can’t think straight any longer, and went to sleep, waking up at 6.30pm! Oh mann… My alarm at 4pm failed to serve me. So yea, I did not really procrastinate; I just put more effort to study than writing the post. Little did I know the electric supply will be cut off 30mins before 12am. :(
------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, it has passed 12am and the electric is not back yet. I’m so gonna post this journal tomorrow, and put it up as 9th May 2011. I did not fail in this 1 post a day challenge, I wrote it on 9th May. It’s just that the blackout preventing me from posting it online. So yea, sape2 x puas hati, bgtau depan2. :p
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
It was already too near my exam. In fact, I had to let go quite a number of interesting activities! That included Dr Azzam Tamimi’s talk, Sheikh Imran Hosein’s talk, and some other outing with friends!
9th May is a lot better day than 9th April. I don’t like 9th April, for a personal reason. I’m sorry if any of you were born on that day. This small bear is a symbol of hope and friend to me. And I bought it for, RM2 if I’m not wrong. Who says only expensive things are valuable and meaningful?
And guess what, I am writing this in the dark and it is already 11.41pm! There is a blackout in my house and even though my laptop can survive on battery, the modem can’t. And so, I really2 hope the electric will come back before 12am, so that I will be able to post this journal, and keep up to my one post a day challenge. Tu la Akmar! Procrastinate since morning!
Last night I slept at 2+ am, the latest so far. And surprisingly, am still able to wake up for Subuh and continued studying after breakfast. Usually, if I do not have enough sleep, I’ll “syahid” right after Subuh prayer. It seems like the exam has finally disrupted my sleeping pattern. By 3pm, I can’t think straight any longer, and went to sleep, waking up at 6.30pm! Oh mann… My alarm at 4pm failed to serve me. So yea, I did not really procrastinate; I just put more effort to study than writing the post. Little did I know the electric supply will be cut off 30mins before 12am. :(
Okay, it has passed 12am and the electric is not back yet. I’m so gonna post this journal tomorrow, and put it up as 9th May 2011. I did not fail in this 1 post a day challenge, I wrote it on 9th May. It’s just that the blackout preventing me from posting it online. So yea, sape2 x puas hati, bgtau depan2. :p
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR- http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Freaking Me Out
Okay, I have to say this, the summative this coming Friday is freaking me out. I have not finished Musculoskeletal and Nervous Systems yet. And haven't even start on the sem3 and sem4 topics yet.
My mother has been worried seeing me studying so hard. Haha! She even forced me to go swimming with my brothers, and go to night market with them - to get some fresh air, according to her.
And since all the plans failed, we went out for dinner just now - my brother's treat :D
Btw, did you notice that the weather has been very hot lately? I have been sweating non-stop! Been drinking a lot too.
Wife's Husband
Last weekend, my childhood friend who was also a family friend came to my hse.
She married at a tender age of 20 and had a daughter less than a yr after.
She called my mother early in the morning, distressed.
She said she wants to run from her husband, who has been taking her money.
And this is not the 1st time she complains abt her husband.
I've been receiving constant message from her, saying her husband is physically hitting her.
So when she called that morning, my father went to fetch her.
And she came with her 2.5yr old daughter, with a moderate-sized bag.
I did not ask what her husband did, she'll tell me when she wants to.
But what surprised me was when she asked herself (loudly), why is her husband not calling her yet. Isn't he missing her already.
And she's anxious inside out because she did not bring her phone charger and none of us at home have a charger compatible with her Nokia.
She's worried her husband might not be able to call her if her phone runs out of battery.
I wonder, was she running away or were we abducting her from her husband?
That night, her phone rang and I saw her face lightened up when she picked it up.
Instantaneously I know that was a call from her husband.
And that night, she asked to be sent back to her house the next day.
From there, I can see that she really loves her husband.
Even when he had been a jerk and completely insensible, she still wants to be with him.
And she managed to do it for more than 3 yrs already.
She told me her husband is a good man.
Well, I agree to some extent.
At least he still stays with her, and the daughter wasn't abused, and they are staying with his family. Things could have been a lot worse for her.
Being raised in a broken family, and having a hard childhood, she admitted to my mother she's used to hard-life. So she doesn't really mind when her husband occasionally ill-treat her.
But I still wonder, how come a woman can subject herself to such an agony and pain, just for the man she loves?
And it happens not only to her, but to a lot of people around me.
I can just hope the best for her.
And may I be spared from that kind of agony.
Heh...
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
My mother has been worried seeing me studying so hard. Haha! She even forced me to go swimming with my brothers, and go to night market with them - to get some fresh air, according to her.
And since all the plans failed, we went out for dinner just now - my brother's treat :D
Btw, did you notice that the weather has been very hot lately? I have been sweating non-stop! Been drinking a lot too.
Wife's Husband
Last weekend, my childhood friend who was also a family friend came to my hse.
She married at a tender age of 20 and had a daughter less than a yr after.
She called my mother early in the morning, distressed.
She said she wants to run from her husband, who has been taking her money.
And this is not the 1st time she complains abt her husband.
I've been receiving constant message from her, saying her husband is physically hitting her.
So when she called that morning, my father went to fetch her.
And she came with her 2.5yr old daughter, with a moderate-sized bag.
I did not ask what her husband did, she'll tell me when she wants to.
But what surprised me was when she asked herself (loudly), why is her husband not calling her yet. Isn't he missing her already.
And she's anxious inside out because she did not bring her phone charger and none of us at home have a charger compatible with her Nokia.
She's worried her husband might not be able to call her if her phone runs out of battery.
I wonder, was she running away or were we abducting her from her husband?
That night, her phone rang and I saw her face lightened up when she picked it up.
Instantaneously I know that was a call from her husband.
And that night, she asked to be sent back to her house the next day.
From there, I can see that she really loves her husband.
Even when he had been a jerk and completely insensible, she still wants to be with him.
And she managed to do it for more than 3 yrs already.
She told me her husband is a good man.
Well, I agree to some extent.
At least he still stays with her, and the daughter wasn't abused, and they are staying with his family. Things could have been a lot worse for her.
Being raised in a broken family, and having a hard childhood, she admitted to my mother she's used to hard-life. So she doesn't really mind when her husband occasionally ill-treat her.
But I still wonder, how come a woman can subject herself to such an agony and pain, just for the man she loves?
And it happens not only to her, but to a lot of people around me.
I can just hope the best for her.
And may I be spared from that kind of agony.
Heh...
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Sleepy Day
I think it is harder to find an interesting post title than writing a post. LOL.
Today, Hui Fong tagged me in a video in facebook.
Her message was "Nur Akmar lets go!!!!! i step on u....wahahaha"
And I can't stop smiling after watching the video.
There is only one not-good thing, it is COKE.
Apart from it having very very high sugar content, and I myself do not like carbonated drinks, it is also one of the major contributor for the illegal occupation of Palestine.
So yea, if the vendor machine is some other machine; a 3 in 1 coffee machine for example....heh... I'd love to climb it everyday with Hui Fong. :D
I wasted 3 hours today, dozing off on my desk after lunch. =.="
And mama is having her asthmatic attack again. I can't hear any wheeze when I auscultate her and she said all doctors have been saying that.
"Mdm, you are having a non-wheezing asthmatic attack"
I wonder if that condition exist. For a moment, I suspected it's not even asthma. Oh well, I haven't revise my semester 3 Respiratory System yet so I forgot what other respi illnesses that might present like asthma. COPD? Emphysema? I forgot them all :(
Lately I have been thinking a lot, considering the pros and the cons of ONE THING; and I do not plan the disclose it here.
Throughout my schooling life (the time period where I think I am more independent), I have been making decisions but there is ONE particular aspect of my life that I dare not make decision on. And now I have to decide about it again.
It's so hard la...
One moment I told myself I'm gonna do it, come what may.
Few hours later, when prompted, I backed out and told myself "Let it be, for just ONE MORE TIME"
It's like a never-ending effort to change, and it have been going on for more than a year, yes...more than a year.
That was why, my facebook status was "You only have urself to blame when you engage in self-destructing activity".
But just now, I read a quote that says,
"Formula for change:
1) Decide, and act
2) Allah will make it easier
3)And your heart will steadfast"
Yes, maybe I should do that.
Decide, and act.
But I can't even decide yet.
So hard laaa....
p/s: Credit to Kak Dhuha for the quote.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Today, Hui Fong tagged me in a video in facebook.
Her message was "Nur Akmar lets go!!!!! i step on u....wahahaha"
And I can't stop smiling after watching the video.
There is only one not-good thing, it is COKE.
Apart from it having very very high sugar content, and I myself do not like carbonated drinks, it is also one of the major contributor for the illegal occupation of Palestine.
So yea, if the vendor machine is some other machine; a 3 in 1 coffee machine for example....heh... I'd love to climb it everyday with Hui Fong. :D
I wasted 3 hours today, dozing off on my desk after lunch. =.="
And mama is having her asthmatic attack again. I can't hear any wheeze when I auscultate her and she said all doctors have been saying that.
I wonder if that condition exist. For a moment, I suspected it's not even asthma. Oh well, I haven't revise my semester 3 Respiratory System yet so I forgot what other respi illnesses that might present like asthma. COPD? Emphysema? I forgot them all :(
Lately I have been thinking a lot, considering the pros and the cons of ONE THING; and I do not plan the disclose it here.
Throughout my schooling life (the time period where I think I am more independent), I have been making decisions but there is ONE particular aspect of my life that I dare not make decision on. And now I have to decide about it again.
It's so hard la...
One moment I told myself I'm gonna do it, come what may.
Few hours later, when prompted, I backed out and told myself "Let it be, for just ONE MORE TIME"
It's like a never-ending effort to change, and it have been going on for more than a year, yes...more than a year.
That was why, my facebook status was "You only have urself to blame when you engage in self-destructing activity".
But just now, I read a quote that says,
1) Decide, and act
2) Allah will make it easier
3)And your heart will steadfast"
Yes, maybe I should do that.
Decide, and act.
But I can't even decide yet.
So hard laaa....
p/s: Credit to Kak Dhuha for the quote.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Sleepy Day
I think it is harder to find an interesting post title than writing a post. LOL.
Today, Hui Fong tagged me in a video in facebook.
Her message was "Nur Akmar lets go!!!!! i step on u....wahahaha"
And I can't stop smiling after watching the video.
There is only one not-good thing, it is COKE.
Apart from it having very very high sugar content, and I myself do not like carbonated drinks, it is also one of the major contributor for the illegal occupation of Palestine.
So yea, if the vendor machine is some other machine; a 3 in 1 coffee machine for example....heh... I'd love to climb it everyday with Hui Fong. :D
I wasted 3 hours today, dozing off on my desk after lunch. =.="
And mama is having her asthmatic attack again. I can't hear any wheeze when I auscultate her and she said all doctors have been saying that.
"Mdm, you are having a non-wheezing asthmatic attack"
I wonder if that condition exist. For a moment, I suspected it's not even asthma. Oh well, I haven't revise my semester 3 Respiratory System yet so I forgot what other respi illnesses that might present like asthma. COPD? Emphysema? I forgot them all :(
Lately I have been thinking a lot, considering the pros and the cons of ONE THING; and I do not plan the disclose it here.
Throughout my schooling life (the time period where I think I am more independent), I have been making decisions but there is ONE particular aspect of my life that I dare not make decision on. And now I have to decide about it again.
It's so hard la...
One moment I told myself I'm gonna do it, come what may.
Few hours later, when prompted, I backed out and told myself "Let it be, for just ONE MORE TIME."
It's like a never-ending effort to change, and it have been going on for more than a year, yes...more than a year.
That was why, my facebook status was "You only have urself to blame when you engage in self-destructing activity".
But just now, I read a quote that says,
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Today, Hui Fong tagged me in a video in facebook.
Her message was "Nur Akmar lets go!!!!! i step on u....wahahaha"
And I can't stop smiling after watching the video.
There is only one not-good thing, it is COKE.
Apart from it having very very high sugar content, and I myself do not like carbonated drinks, it is also one of the major contributor for the illegal occupation of Palestine.
So yea, if the vendor machine is some other machine; a 3 in 1 coffee machine for example....heh... I'd love to climb it everyday with Hui Fong. :D
I wasted 3 hours today, dozing off on my desk after lunch. =.="
And mama is having her asthmatic attack again. I can't hear any wheeze when I auscultate her and she said all doctors have been saying that.
I wonder if that condition exist. For a moment, I suspected it's not even asthma. Oh well, I haven't revise my semester 3 Respiratory System yet so I forgot what other respi illnesses that might present like asthma. COPD? Emphysema? I forgot them all :(
Lately I have been thinking a lot, considering the pros and the cons of ONE THING; and I do not plan the disclose it here.
Throughout my schooling life (the time period where I think I am more independent), I have been making decisions but there is ONE particular aspect of my life that I dare not make decision on. And now I have to decide about it again.
It's so hard la...
One moment I told myself I'm gonna do it, come what may.
Few hours later, when prompted, I backed out and told myself "Let it be, for just ONE MORE TIME."
It's like a never-ending effort to change, and it have been going on for more than a year, yes...more than a year.
That was why, my facebook status was "You only have urself to blame when you engage in self-destructing activity".
But just now, I read a quote that says,
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Friday, May 6, 2011
TGI Friday!
Yessss... I'de better start writing now or it'll turn 12 in a while more, then I'll fail in my one day a post challenge.
Today was my last PBL and MMS sessions in IMU.
I'm so gonna miss you, IMU.
(But somehow I left INTEC with comparatively better and sweeter memories. Perhaps it's because I made some really superb friends there)
Prefrontal Cortex
During MMS today, Dr Nilesh came out with a superb explanation.
People with strong religious belief has strong control over their prefrontal cortex (a part of the brain). For that reason, they are able to suppress the movements that were initiated by our hippocampus (the emotion area).
This means, if the hippocampus area asked us to do "bad things", influenced by our emotions, a "religiously trained" prefrontal area of the brain will be able to suppress the movements.
Logical and interesting explanation wasn't it?
I've always tried to link all these scientific knowledges I gained from medical school with religion, but I missed this important connection.
I don't believe scientific people cannot be religious people. Religion was not based on myths, it is logical, to some extent.
For obvious reasons, I'd say my prefrontal area is not trained enough. :(
Pharmacology
I am very interested to know all those kinds of drugs that are able to suppress epilepsy, put us to sleep, anti depressants, anaesthetic drugs... They are all so amazing. How they act on our body system and how our body reacted to them.
But what's really not good about them is....I have to memorise their names.
And their names are so weirdddd....
Why are they called propofol, ketamine, barbiturates, vigabatril, etc...
Why can't they be called anaesthetic 1, anaesthetic 2, anaesthetic 3 and so on so forth.
Won't it make our lives easier?
And anti-insulin drugs, oh my God!
When I recite all these drugs trying to memorise them, it sounded as if I am jinx-ing someone.
It's like Harry Potter's spells, "wingardium leviosa!!"
"Lispro glargine and protamine!"
"Trizolam, Diazepam and Lorazepine!"
With that, I end this post.
Have to continue reading my CNS notes, am going half insane already.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Today was my last PBL and MMS sessions in IMU.
I'm so gonna miss you, IMU.
(But somehow I left INTEC with comparatively better and sweeter memories. Perhaps it's because I made some really superb friends there)
Prefrontal Cortex
During MMS today, Dr Nilesh came out with a superb explanation.
People with strong religious belief has strong control over their prefrontal cortex (a part of the brain). For that reason, they are able to suppress the movements that were initiated by our hippocampus (the emotion area).
This means, if the hippocampus area asked us to do "bad things", influenced by our emotions, a "religiously trained" prefrontal area of the brain will be able to suppress the movements.
Logical and interesting explanation wasn't it?
I've always tried to link all these scientific knowledges I gained from medical school with religion, but I missed this important connection.
I don't believe scientific people cannot be religious people. Religion was not based on myths, it is logical, to some extent.
For obvious reasons, I'd say my prefrontal area is not trained enough. :(
Pharmacology
I am very interested to know all those kinds of drugs that are able to suppress epilepsy, put us to sleep, anti depressants, anaesthetic drugs... They are all so amazing. How they act on our body system and how our body reacted to them.
But what's really not good about them is....I have to memorise their names.
And their names are so weirdddd....
Why are they called propofol, ketamine, barbiturates, vigabatril, etc...
Why can't they be called anaesthetic 1, anaesthetic 2, anaesthetic 3 and so on so forth.
Won't it make our lives easier?
And anti-insulin drugs, oh my God!
When I recite all these drugs trying to memorise them, it sounded as if I am jinx-ing someone.
It's like Harry Potter's spells, "wingardium leviosa!!"
"Lispro glargine and protamine!"
"Trizolam, Diazepam and Lorazepine!"
With that, I end this post.
Have to continue reading my CNS notes, am going half insane already.
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Keeping It Up
Yup, I am still trying to keep the one post a day challenge. I almost failed today, due to this throbbing, severe bilateral temporal headache that made me go drowsy and irritable.
And even though I've been trying my best to read the notes for PBL tomorrow, for the past 2hrs, I keep clicking on the mouse, surfing the net. What more when I re-found Hazirah's tumblr, haha! Quite a lot of head-spanking quotes in there, I'll put one up today, at the end of this post.
Anyway, today was my last lecture in IMU, how should I describe it?
It was cool, ended beautifully, with the last lecture being "Major Mental Illnesses". Ok yea, the plenary title doesnt sound that beautiful but the psychiatrist had a good way of teaching. And the session was ended with a group photo. :)
Throughout the lecture, I was distracted. I kept thinking "this is the last lecture, this is the last lecture... this is the last lecture... this is the last lecture ". And subconsciously, I sinked into my seat, trying to lean as much as I can on the chair, knowing that'll be the last time I sit on it. And these friends sitting in the theatre, I might not see them again after this, there is no reason for us to anymore. :(
It is that time of the month again, hormonal imbalance aggravated by presence of the exam has successfully turned my emotions upside down today. I was depressed during the first half of the day, but laughed like crazy throughout the csu practice session, slept right after I reach home, and headache at night.
Today wasn't really a good day for me, last night being an even worse one.
My Father
My father was involved in a motor accident, a motorcyclist crashed on him while he was riding his own. He injured his legs, but somehow managed to pull through the whole day yesterday, being involved with the accident in the morning on his way to work, during the rain.
Lucky enough, his boss allowed him to take leave today so he could go to clinic and get a proper MC.
Really, a lot people do not understand the agony and worry of having their fathers riding to work everyday while they comfortably drive to class.
That's all for now I guess, gotta go now.
Wanna check what my parents are doing, and perhaps sleep.
This headache is preventing me to focus on my PBL notes (yet another excuse).
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
And even though I've been trying my best to read the notes for PBL tomorrow, for the past 2hrs, I keep clicking on the mouse, surfing the net. What more when I re-found Hazirah's tumblr, haha! Quite a lot of head-spanking quotes in there, I'll put one up today, at the end of this post.
Anyway, today was my last lecture in IMU, how should I describe it?
It was cool, ended beautifully, with the last lecture being "Major Mental Illnesses". Ok yea, the plenary title doesnt sound that beautiful but the psychiatrist had a good way of teaching. And the session was ended with a group photo. :)
Throughout the lecture, I was distracted. I kept thinking "this is the last lecture, this is the last lecture... this is the last lecture... this is the last lecture ". And subconsciously, I sinked into my seat, trying to lean as much as I can on the chair, knowing that'll be the last time I sit on it. And these friends sitting in the theatre, I might not see them again after this, there is no reason for us to anymore. :(
It is that time of the month again, hormonal imbalance aggravated by presence of the exam has successfully turned my emotions upside down today. I was depressed during the first half of the day, but laughed like crazy throughout the csu practice session, slept right after I reach home, and headache at night.
Today wasn't really a good day for me, last night being an even worse one.
My Father
My father was involved in a motor accident, a motorcyclist crashed on him while he was riding his own. He injured his legs, but somehow managed to pull through the whole day yesterday, being involved with the accident in the morning on his way to work, during the rain.
Lucky enough, his boss allowed him to take leave today so he could go to clinic and get a proper MC.
Really, a lot people do not understand the agony and worry of having their fathers riding to work everyday while they comfortably drive to class.
That's all for now I guess, gotta go now.
Wanna check what my parents are doing, and perhaps sleep.
This headache is preventing me to focus on my PBL notes (yet another excuse).
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Fashionista
Okay, after reading it again and again, I think this new font does not differ much from my old font. Compare these two sentences below:
Old font: The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog
New font: The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog
If your computer/browser cannot view the fonts, then too bad...you missed the whole fun (which happened in one of my friend's MAC).
Fashionista
I know I am nowhere near a fashionista, the limited resources and collections I have made me wear almost the same apparels twice or thrice a month; but heck I don't really care. It's not like I'll be smarter or fairer by having extensive collections of clothing.
But I am not a fashion victim either. I do not go to IMU with pink hijab, blue blouse, green pants and red shoes (now, suddenly that sounded appealing. Maybe I should try one day..heh).
But there is one thing about fashion that I do not understand.
How do people see fashion?
Why did Kate Middleton's wedding dress receive such tremendous compliments and praises?
I agree that it looked elegant, beautiful and what I liked most was it is not too-revealing (unlike the wedding dresses in Hollywood movies). But apart from that, there is nothing more to it, it is simply; beautiful.
I would have said the dress is beautiful if it was blue or pink.
Why must it be described as "not disappointing"?
What would make it disappointing?
I'm sure whatever she might be wearing on that day was not going to be disappointing.
But never mind, it doesn't really affect my life whether or not her dress was stunning or mouth-dropping.
I was just curious, what were the criteria for people to judge a dress?
IMU
Tomorrow will be my last lecture in IMU.
How time rockets!
I will certainly miss all the lecturers in IMU. :(
Dr Annie Tay and her irreplaceable jokes and stories, Prof Francis and his weird facial expressions, Dr Srikumar and his superb presentation skills and oh....let's just save this acknowledgment bit until I really leave IMU.
I am not sure how is my feeling, tomorrow being the last lecture day.
Being sentimental, I cant avoid feeling sad.
But at the same time, I am glad. It's sort of a "way out" for me.
Not all memories in IMU have been good ones for me.
And at the same time, finishing lectures also means my exam is getting near!
Summative is next week, thank you.
And EOS5 will ensue 2 weeks later.
What an agony.
After exam?
What will happen?
I don't know.
There are too many things I hope will happen, but I doubt they will.
I am finally leaving IMU.
And oh...I really do not know how I feel about that.
p/s: I've so far managed to keep to my one day one post challenge for May despite the terrible streamyx connection these few days.
:D
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Old font: The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog
New font: The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog
If your computer/browser cannot view the fonts, then too bad...you missed the whole fun (which happened in one of my friend's MAC).
Fashionista
I know I am nowhere near a fashionista, the limited resources and collections I have made me wear almost the same apparels twice or thrice a month; but heck I don't really care. It's not like I'll be smarter or fairer by having extensive collections of clothing.
But I am not a fashion victim either. I do not go to IMU with pink hijab, blue blouse, green pants and red shoes (now, suddenly that sounded appealing. Maybe I should try one day..heh).
But there is one thing about fashion that I do not understand.
How do people see fashion?
Why did Kate Middleton's wedding dress receive such tremendous compliments and praises?
I agree that it looked elegant, beautiful and what I liked most was it is not too-revealing (unlike the wedding dresses in Hollywood movies). But apart from that, there is nothing more to it, it is simply; beautiful.
I would have said the dress is beautiful if it was blue or pink.
Why must it be described as "not disappointing"?
What would make it disappointing?
I'm sure whatever she might be wearing on that day was not going to be disappointing.
But never mind, it doesn't really affect my life whether or not her dress was stunning or mouth-dropping.
I was just curious, what were the criteria for people to judge a dress?
IMU
Tomorrow will be my last lecture in IMU.
How time rockets!
I will certainly miss all the lecturers in IMU. :(
Dr Annie Tay and her irreplaceable jokes and stories, Prof Francis and his weird facial expressions, Dr Srikumar and his superb presentation skills and oh....let's just save this acknowledgment bit until I really leave IMU.
I am not sure how is my feeling, tomorrow being the last lecture day.
Being sentimental, I cant avoid feeling sad.
But at the same time, I am glad. It's sort of a "way out" for me.
Not all memories in IMU have been good ones for me.
And at the same time, finishing lectures also means my exam is getting near!
Summative is next week, thank you.
And EOS5 will ensue 2 weeks later.
What an agony.
After exam?
What will happen?
I don't know.
There are too many things I hope will happen, but I doubt they will.
I am finally leaving IMU.
And oh...I really do not know how I feel about that.
p/s: I've so far managed to keep to my one day one post challenge for May despite the terrible streamyx connection these few days.
:D
-Because life is a test-
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Wah, Judgmental nye!
Someone told me that after seeing one comment posted by another person in Facebook, he lost his respect towards the person. According to him, that comment was an unforgivable comment.
That time, I think it was wrong of him.
But I did not know why I felt that way.
Now I know.
I think that was a very judgmental comment.
You can't judge a person just by one of her statement, can you? That person might has her own reason; as a matter of fact, that person might even be prompting you to think by saying something bizarre.
Of course, since he did not disclose what the comment was, I am in no position to really say he's wrong.
But still, shouldn't we take the action as wrong, rather than the person as wrong?
Just because someone do not pray, does not mean he is not good at heart.
I am not saying the probability of him being good at heart is higher, either.
It could be that he has not seen the benefits of prayers,yet.
Why must people start judging and classifying other people?
"Oh, it's not weird seeing he does something of that sort. He didn't even pray, did he....?"
Such a judgmental statement, isn't it?
But of course, it is very dangerous for me to say something like this.
I might be killed by my own medicine; judging people whom I think were being judgmental. :p
But anyway, this serves as a reminder too for me, do not be judgmental; you do not know what that person has in his heart. It could well be millions times purer than yours, or it could even be darker than you can imagine.
Do not blame people, blame what they did.
An evil man's deed is commendable, as long as it was not a hypocrite one. :D
p/s: I'm trying to write one post a day for May, do you think I'll be able to make it?
And notice this new font? I love it!
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
That time, I think it was wrong of him.
But I did not know why I felt that way.
Now I know.
I think that was a very judgmental comment.
You can't judge a person just by one of her statement, can you? That person might has her own reason; as a matter of fact, that person might even be prompting you to think by saying something bizarre.
Of course, since he did not disclose what the comment was, I am in no position to really say he's wrong.
But still, shouldn't we take the action as wrong, rather than the person as wrong?
Just because someone do not pray, does not mean he is not good at heart.
I am not saying the probability of him being good at heart is higher, either.
It could be that he has not seen the benefits of prayers,yet.
Why must people start judging and classifying other people?
"Oh, it's not weird seeing he does something of that sort. He didn't even pray, did he....?"
Such a judgmental statement, isn't it?
But of course, it is very dangerous for me to say something like this.
I might be killed by my own medicine; judging people whom I think were being judgmental. :p
But anyway, this serves as a reminder too for me, do not be judgmental; you do not know what that person has in his heart. It could well be millions times purer than yours, or it could even be darker than you can imagine.
Do not blame people, blame what they did.
An evil man's deed is commendable, as long as it was not a hypocrite one. :D
p/s: I'm trying to write one post a day for May, do you think I'll be able to make it?
And notice this new font? I love it!
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Monday, May 2, 2011
People's BlogS
I've just spent the last 20minutes reading some funny blogs. Friends of friend's blogs. Some people are gifted with the ability to write funnily don't they?
Reading them made me laugh!
One of the images that cracked me:
And I've noticed some beautiful, attractive blog layout design. Heh...
I'll change mine when I have time i.e at least a month from now!
Just you wait. :D
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Reading them made me laugh!
One of the images that cracked me:
And I've noticed some beautiful, attractive blog layout design. Heh...
I'll change mine when I have time i.e at least a month from now!
Just you wait. :D
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Random Qs Coming Out from Tired Brain
Why are some people considered royalty, some people considered commoner?
Is it just because it-so-happened that they were born into that family?
Why must there be distinctions between the two?
How come there is "king and people", not just "leader and followers"?
People can work hard, put effort, and be the leader; but no one can work hard, put effort and be the king.
Once a king, forever a king?
Says who?
Why so?
Why must people look at races?
Why must people ask, "What race are you?"
How about genetic make-up? Do you believe in that?
Do you believe that some people were born with better genes?
What happen if someone from a supposedly not-so-brilliant race/family/parentage brought up by a smart/rich/educated foster family in the best environment? Would the kid be a good or an average one (assume the kid didn't have severe jaundice that might damage his brain when he was an infant, or any other illness for that matter)?
Can the kid stand at par with the kids from that were born into that family?
What if a baby from good and smart parents were raised by poor/uneducated/not-so-smart parents?
Will he be the brightest gem among them?
Lastly,
why do all these even matter?
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
Is it just because it-so-happened that they were born into that family?
Why must there be distinctions between the two?
How come there is "king and people", not just "leader and followers"?
People can work hard, put effort, and be the leader; but no one can work hard, put effort and be the king.
Once a king, forever a king?
Says who?
Why so?
Why must people look at races?
Why must people ask, "What race are you?"
How about genetic make-up? Do you believe in that?
Do you believe that some people were born with better genes?
What happen if someone from a supposedly not-so-brilliant race/family/parentage brought up by a smart/rich/educated foster family in the best environment? Would the kid be a good or an average one (assume the kid didn't have severe jaundice that might damage his brain when he was an infant, or any other illness for that matter)?
Can the kid stand at par with the kids from that were born into that family?
What if a baby from good and smart parents were raised by poor/uneducated/not-so-smart parents?
Will he be the brightest gem among them?
Lastly,
why do all these even matter?
-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com
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