What Coming From A Multiracial Family Means

Assalammualaikum :)

Photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash

My mother is a Chinese who reverted to Islam during her teen years when my grandmother married my Muslim step-granddad and took her back to live with them. She lived with her auntie before that so she grew up with her cousins - now I call them Ee Ee.

She then married my Malay father and the rest was history.

Two Major Celebrations Every Year

Naturally, I celebrate both Hari Raya and Chinese New Year every year.

During Hari Raya Aidilfitri, I used to go back to Kuantan where my maternal grandma lives, but now she lives in Kota Damansara - it's so near mum's house that I don't call it balik kampung anymore.

On CNY, we go back to Penang - that's where my Ah Ma and Ee Ees live.
Ah Ma unfortunately passed away in 2007 at the age of 92 during my first week in INTEC 😞😞.
Bless her, she's such a nice soul, always asking if I ate enough even though she barely recognised me due to her Alzheimer.

My Big Family; CNY 2020

Taking Long Leaves during Festive Seasons

When I was a houseman, even getting leaves for Hari Raya was hard enough, what more getting leaves during CNY. Before housemanship, I was studying in the UK so I often missed CNY celebrations too.
Consequently I missed CNY for many years already and it has always troubled me.

But since 3 years ago, Alhamulillah I managed to get at least 2 days of CNY leaves.
It is important for me to get long leaves as I am now working in a hospital in the southern part of Malaysia while my Ees stay in Penang - that's a 10 hour drive from where I live. Bruh!

I feel bad that my colleagues need to work extra hard during those times I take leave but I do bring them some cookies in return :)

Spending Twice as Much Money Every Year

It's official. I am working, and I am married.
That means in both cultures; I must give out duit raya 😫😫
It's putting a dent in my purse during every Raya and CNY.

I used to get duit raya twice a year when I was a kid, but now I have to give twice a year.
The weight of the trouble my mum faced since ages ago suddenly dawned upon me.
I've always known that she had to give duit raya twice too, but I didn't realise the extent of the expenses.
Now I made sure hubs prepares more duit raya during Aidilfitri 😆 There are more little cousins on his side anyway.

And travelling expenses is no joke. My Mazda 2 tank emptied after travelling from around Tangkak to Juru. And the toll fare was more than RM60 one way, depending on which entrance I get into PLUS Highway from.

Being Part of Two Different Cultures

This might be my most treasured perk.
Mostly I live the Malay Muslim's way of life, but I absorbed a lot of Chinese ways too.

I enjoy the celebration during Aidilfitri and Aidiladha, the sweet sufferings of Ramadhan, but also the sweetness of Chap Goh Mei (Chinese Valentine) and the hardwork during Cheng Beng / Qing Ming (the grave cleaning day).

I eat spicy food like a Queen but I can't live without plain soups (hubs call it air rebusan ayam. Yes, because Chinese soups usually tak letak spices).

I salam and cium tangan (shake and kiss the hands) with the Elders during Raya or Malay house visits, and call the Elders to respect and acknowledge them during Chinese home visits.

I enjoy dodol and also tangyuan.
I pray 5 times a day, I pray Solat Raya when I can but I also helped my Ees fold those yellow prayer papers and observe her burning them in the metal barrel.
I see my Ees burning incense with teary eyes for my late Ah Ma, while me and siblings read the Yasin next to her coffin - praying whaever we can so that her sufferings are reduced.

My mother's Malay family is also technically a 50/50 Chinese + Malay family while my father's side is more of the Indonesian Malay culture.
Hence I only start to experience the true Malaysian Malay culture after I got married to Akmal; and he's part Bugis.
Through him I was introduced to burasak and pakloi, and ikan parang (OMG so boney but so tasty).

This year I brought my in laws with me for CNY since they also wanted to visit Penang

I resonate with both the Malays and the Chinese pledges; and I really hate it when people try to play the racism card; especially when politics are concerned.

I think we all must try to live happily, tolerating and accepting each others strengths and weaknesses.

I can say that coming from a multiracial background helped me becoming a better person, being able to always relate things to my experience.
And multiracial offsprings are usually more intelligent too; hakss..

Do you have your own multiracial stories to tell?
I am eager to read about them!

'til then!

-Because life is a test-

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com