The (TRUE) First Day of Work

Assalammualaikum! 

Today is my real first day of work, since yesterday the closest and the only time I got to a patient was manually bagging a child while my new colleague gas him to sleep. I spent the first half of the day mostly by waiting; waiting for the admin clerk, wait for them again, then again. Then waited to see the consultant in charge of us, then a bit at the ICT department, then a bit longer at the Security Unit to get our ID card done (yep, they took pic there and then and yep also, as predicted - I didn't look like how I pictured myself smiling to the camera)

| Today |

I was in charge of E2 today ie the Emergency OT mainly for Orthopaedics cases. Lawak gler, I didn't know the semi-e case that my colleagues posted in the WhatsApp grp yesterday was meant to be my first case this morning. So I kinda ignored the patient, and the Sp at the patient's bed! 

She called me to give plan about the patient, I didn't even know she is my Specialist; hence I almost did not want to come to her. Then she introduced herself, and I smacked myself in my brain. Nasib baik dia tak garang. 

So my first and ONLY case was an acetabular fracture plating. Quite straightforward case - not much bleeding, the Sp induced with me and she allowed the HO to intubate with me standing by. 

After that, even though we had a long list, none can be called because all COVID RTKs were still pending 😑

| Premed |

After lunch and Zuhr, I went for premed. I had to premed only two surgical patients; but was delayed because 1) No OTMS yet, and 2) Deym Purple Code.

Purple Code is the code activated during the transfer of a positive COVID patient - hence the whole corridor needed to be cleared off staff and patients and visitors. So I was trapped and cannot go to the ward I wanted to. 

Only two patients; but I already feel very exhausted by the end of it. I think I am getting old (myself 10 years from now will snort at this remark. Kalau hidup lagi la)

| Balik Rumah |

It took me about 25mins only to reach home, including the time taken to refuel my car. Not bad eh? The jam has not started when I leave hence the short travel time. 

Tapi sampai rumah je, I felt so sleepy, I feel like going to sleep. 

Gone, gone is my plan to study. Even now, I am supposed to be studying but instead, I am writing my blog 😒

So I am ending this now, gotta go wash my face and kunun-kunun do the 100 Korean skin care steps and sleep early to go to work tomorrow. 

-Because life is a test- 

 -AkMaR- 

Starting Work in Two Days Time, Oh The Anxiety!

Assalammualaikum!

I've only been able to properly sit down in front of a computer past one week or so, hence the long hiatus. 

Before entering Masters programme, we need to clear off our annual leaves, since we are technically leaving KKM and entering KPM hence our KKM annual leaves cant be used anymore. 

I had 26 days left, used 22 of them and took the last 3 weeks of November off.

My last day of working was 4th Nov! 

I'm gonna leave the whole story of my moving into KL and renovating and decorating the house in another post and focus on my work in this. 

My new work/study spot! No I didn't bother tidying them up for the photo because I'm lazy liddat. 

My uni intake was on the 1st of Dec so I thought I will start working in my training hospital on either the 1st or 2nd. But boy was I wrong. The university orientation programme took the whole week, but the best thing is, they are all done online!

So it's a first of Work-From-Home experience for me. Mana ada (clinical) doktor yang can WFH, cannot touch-touch patient through screen ma. Too bad Akmal's were online only for the first session. All the subsequent sessions required him to go to the university hospital (Don't tell him but I suspect his programme coordinator is a typical boomer, because he actually had to go there to JOIN the ZOOM meeting while students from other programme stays home. Blergh, and weird!)

So my first day in the hospital is this coming Monday, Dec 7th.

And I was added into the roster request WA group since mid-Nov! Bapak scary. 

And I'm gonna be oncall on the 10th, that's only like my 4th day in the hospital! 

| THE ANXIETY |

I'm so anxious to resume work after one month, dh la tu in a new environment, with a different title plk tu - "Masters Student".

Scary weyh, nanti org expect kau tau but you don't. Nanti kena tempelak or sarcasm camne?

Or what if they expect so low of me because I come from a small district hospital? 

One of my dear friend advised me, and I am going to heed this, 

"Doa byk2
Psycho diri ko 1st yr ni memang susah
Org look down
Byk benda xtaw
Expect the worst "

Mcm scary kan advise dia?

But I think I have to hold on to that now. 

I am scared dapat big case and I can't handle it. 

I've never done AAA open repair in my prev hospital, we wheel them off to the nearest tertiary centre. 

I've never used the Level-1 blood transfusion machine before. 

I am not that efficient in TIVA yet. I've never done anaesthesia for respi procedures before. 

What if I get these types of cases and I can't handle them on my own? 

"Apa kau belajar kt district ni?"

- Agak2 will I get this kind of insensitive, derogatory remark?

Akmal said, "Lek lek dlu awal2 ni. Jangan perform sangat. Nanti kalau perform awal2 ni, lepas ni merudum camne? Buat bodo2 dlu, lepas tu baru perform"

Ha amek, that's from a man's point of view. Lek lek dlu~

Ok, I think I rant enough for the day. 

I am hoping to read this back sometime in the future and laugh at myself, just like how I laughed (but completely still resonate with) at my pre-HO anxiety. 

 -Because life is a test- 

 

Preparing For A New Home

Assalammualaikum!

Source: [Instagram]

So I mentioned I will be moving back to KL soon.

And I have found a house, well it is my mother's other house to be exact, and it is in the same housing area as my mum's so yeah, dduk balik almost bawah ketiak mak. 

Anyway, I have been imagining having my own house and being able to decorate it with love and passion and whatever, and now I get to do it! Akmal and I already own a house but we can't stay there yet because we have our own jobs and they are not in the state we are in so long story cut short, I can't really decorate that house because we are not going to stay there yet. 

I've also not been able to decorate this house nor my previous house in Putrajaya because well, they are rented and I don't feel stable enough to decorate them, as we might move out anytime. 

So this time, it is almost perfect 💓

It's my mum's house, which means I can do whatever I want, the house might be handed to me anyway and we'll be staying there for at least 4 years (that's the minimum time for a Masters programme). 

All I can think about now is how to decorate the house. 

I am thinking of the colours of the wall, should I install wainscoting and if I do, do I want to do it myself or hire someone to do them? I also want an accent wall but that's a bit too much to DIY, but a bit too extravagant to hire an interior deco.

Accent Wall: [Source]

Wainscoting: [Source: Facebook Hafis Ishak]

Master Bedroom | I am thinking of putting an accent wall on my bedhead, but I wonder if it will make the already small room looks even smaller. I want a King-sized bed, which might make the room even smaller. I already worry if there will be space for us to pray in the room. I already own a 8x8' wardrobe, and I wish I have the money to buy a new, more modern looking dressing table.  

Kitchen | The previous owner already built a kitchen top without the shelves, but they are green. Algae green, not emerald green. And I don't like it. Even the floor tiles are the pale green colour. It cost too much for me to overhaul the cabinet and the floor so I plan to put on some wallpaper to the kitchen top and live with the green tiles. Sew or hire someone to sew a curtain for the exposed kitchen cabinet. I also want to paint one of the kitchen wall emerald green, making it a feature wall and make the kitchen brighter. 

Living Room | We are buying a new sofa yes! I want to make our living room blue + white so I really hope we can find a sofa that suits both our budget and my theme. I wish to buy a new TV console too, this time with a drawer so that we can chuck things inside and make the living room looks more tidy. 

Dining Area | There is a small dining area in between the kitchen and the living room, but it is right in front of the toilet door. I hope I can decorate this area to look modern and chic and minimalist. We already have a big glass dining table, but no suitable dining chairs. One dining chair cost at least RM200 so if I want to buy 6 chairs, that is RM1200 there already. 

What I should be Doing Now

Not waste my time on trivial matters. 

I really should start writing them down; my budget, the paint codes, the designs I want etc, instead of just having them in my mind, abstract. 

Maybe this is the best time to resuscitate my dead BuJo.

I shall name it "Project Home" 😁

'til then,

-Because Life is A Test-

My First Awake Fibre-Optic Intubation

Assalammualaikum!

I came home two days ago super thrilled! Can't even wait till we get to the diner before blurting everything out to Akmal once I got into the car. 

Excited sgt, belanja gmbr Captain Ri satu.

There was a patient scheduled for an emergency operation and he was 180kg!

He very likeyly has severe OSA based on his STOPBANG score and that itself is a big big risk for intubation and general anaesthesia.

Dr Rey was there and she decided for Awake FibreOptic Intubation (AFOI), I was actually manning the OR next door when I peeped into the OR at the right time and was offered to do the AFOI instead!

Non-anaesthesia trainee might not know this but awake fibre-optic intubation is a very important, advanced airway skills that we must have. I've observed it multiple times before but never did it myself. I've even paid hundreds of ringgits late last year for the Beyond Basic Airway course and already practised multiple times on mannequins but never on an awake human being. 

The procedure requires us to insert the endotracheal tube into the patient's airway while the patient is AWAKE and mildly sedated and instead of using laryngoscopes and our bare hands, we use a fibreoptic scope with camera attached. We insert the scope into the patient's nose or mouth (in my case, it was the nose) and manipulate the end of the scope to slide down the patient's throat, into the major airways until we see the carina ie where the trachea diverges into two. 

A random picture of AFOI I found on the Internet. A still cut of a [YouTube video]

I had my first CVL a few weeks before I left the hospital I completed my housemanship, my first CSE a few weeks after starting in this hospital and my first AFOI not long before I leave this hospital for my Masters study. Isn't this just great?

I wish I can master this AFOI skills soon. 

Masters life, please be nice to me. 

-Because life is a test-

KL, I'm coming Home!

Nti akan rindu dorg ni. Team ICU Raya; Kak Salmi, Anis, Kak Kama, Sharmine and Me

Assalammualaikum.

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah. 

I got accepted into MMed Anaes ie the Masters programme for Anaesthesiology ie a 4-year programme to be a Specialist. So in December, I can add "Anaesthetist in the making" in my profile section 😋

The exam was last December, and the result was supposed to be released in April and intake in June. However, due to the COVID disruption, they postponed the intake and released the results in July, for December intake. My husband got in too! I was offered UM and him UKM. Alhamdulillah, both of us in Klang Valley and no LDR involved 😁 

And I am thrilled that I will be moving back to KL. 

I am a KL girl, no doubt.

I like it here in this small town, people are friendly, roads are not busy and most of the necessities are near. But I never realised how much I missed KL until now. 

I want to find all those libraries again, study in an open space again and shop at big complexes again.

The catch? Well, I'll be spending more (read: saving less) and the traffic!

I remember being super excited when I graduated Med School, so optimistic about the future as a doctor, and telling everyone "Heyyy I am a doctor!". Then I started my gruesome housemanship, saw my juniors convocation pictures; them being super excited being able to call themselves doctor and told myself, "Haaahaha, korg igt dh grad means akan jadi doktor ke? Tggu la, korg belum rasa lagi "kedoktoran" yg sebenar"

Then I finished my HO-ship and was super excited yeayyay dh jadi MO. 

4 years down the line, then tgk my juniors2 plk excited jadi MO - and thought to myself Haaahaha dlu aku excited camtu jugak. Junior MO belum apa2 lagi, jgn meroyan sgt. 

So now I am excited that I am accepted into this programme, tapi mesti bila dh bertahun2 nti, insyaAllah if ada panjang umur utk baca balik blog ni, mesti mcm "Haaaahaa excited giler dlu eh. Tak sedor struggle nye macam mana buat Masters ni"

So yes, that's why sekarang ni mcm nak excited giler but tak berani, kena control skit. 

Ok and I realised this post is so rojak already but biar lah. 

Registration in December, and now bosses dh start tanya "Akmar dh start study?"

Ayat Dr John lagi la, "One year tak ckup nk study, and you only have two months extra. U should start study now. I finished West Respi book 3 times even before I msuk Masters"

#terusrasainadequate

Argh stress.

Tak habis2 kena study. 

-Because life is a test-

Hiatus

Restoran Ole-Ole Bali, IOI City Mall

Assalammualaikum.

5 months since my last post. 

I was overwhelmed with this SARI COVID thing - managing SARI ICU, fighting with Medical and ED almost all the time due to the ridiculously low threshold of "SARI patients". 

Then I just lost the enthusiasm of blogging. Even my bullet journal went down the drain. 

I simply lived my life. 

And then 31st July came - Hari Arafah.

And that was the day of Masters result!

And Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah, I got into MMed Anes and my husband into MMed Radiology.

The registration is in December so I have about 2 months left here, to pack my stuff and get my new house ready. 

Yes, plenty of time. 

I hope I won't procrastinate until I suddenly find I have no time to pack and move house!

Today I decided to kindle the blogging fire in me. 

Well, maybe not fire - somewhere there. 

So I bought myself a RM68 Blogger theme! Gila betul. 

The last one felt too "Blogger", like a famous-blogger-kind-of-theme.

And I felt superficial with it. 

So I bought this one, cleaner - but perhaps not worth the money. 

But whatever lah. 

Hope this theme lasts long.

Perhaps I should start joining giveaways. 

-Because life is a test-